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View Full Version : World Ideologies as Explained by Reference to Cows



Cojafoji
October 26th, 2009, 09:39 AM
Thought you guys would get a kick out of this...



Feudalism
You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

Pure Socialism
You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you all the milk you need.

Bureaucratic Socialism
Your cows are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs the regulations say you should need.

Fascism
You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

Pure Communism
You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

Real World Communism
You share two cows with your neighbors. You and your neighbors bicker about who has the most "ability" and who has the most "need". Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead of starvation.

Russian Communism
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the black market.

Perestroika
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the Mafia takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the "free" market.

Cambodian Communism
You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

Militarianism
You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

Totalitarianism
You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.

Pure Democracy
You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

Representative Democracy
You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

British Democracy
You have two cows. You feed them sheeps' brains and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.

Bureaucracy
You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

Pure Anarchy
You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.

Pure Capitalism
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

Capitalism
You don't have any cows. The bank will not lend you money to buy cows, because you don't have any cows to put up as collateral.

Environmentalism
You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or killing them.

Political Correctness
You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is a symbol of the phallo centric, war mongering, intolerant past) two differently - aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender.

Surrealism
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

Rook
October 26th, 2009, 11:56 AM
US history teacher had a poster on his wall pretty much like this a few years back, but can you guess which of those best fits america? :-3

Ganon
October 26th, 2009, 12:15 PM
Become the cow

flibitijibibo
October 26th, 2009, 12:22 PM
I remember seeing this in poster form... In like, 7th grade... 6 years ago...

Still funny.

itszutak
October 26th, 2009, 05:58 PM
Saw this a few years ago, but it's nice to look at it again now that I know world history.


Pure Communism
You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

Real World Communism
You share two cows with your neighbors. You and your neighbors bicker about who has the most "ability" and who has the most "need". Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead of starvation.:v:

Chainsy
October 26th, 2009, 06:01 PM
I replaced the word cow with cock.
Feudalism
You have two cocks. Your lord takes some of the milk.

Pure Socialism
You have two cocks. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cocks. You have to take care of all the cocks. The government gives you all the milk you need.

Bureaucratic Socialism
Your cocks are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs the regulations say you should need.

Fascism
You have two cocks. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

Pure Communism
You have two cocks. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

Real World Communism
You share two cocks with your neighbors. You and your neighbors bicker about who has the most "ability" and who has the most "need". Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cocks drop dead of starvation.

Russian Communism
You have two cocks. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the black market.

Perestroika
You have two cocks. You have to take care of them, but the Mafia takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the "free" market.

Cambodian Communism
You have two cocks. The government takes both and shoots you.

Militarianism
You have two cocks. The government takes both and drafts you.

Totalitarianism
You have two cocks. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.

Pure Democracy
You have two cocks. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

Representative Democracy
You have two cocks. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

British Democracy
You have two cocks. You feed them sheeps' brains and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.

Bureaucracy
You have two cocks. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cocks.

Pure Anarchy
You have two cocks. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cocks and kill you.

Pure Capitalism
You have two cocks. You sell one and buy a viagra.

Capitalism
You don't have any cocks. The bank will not lend you money to buy cocks, because you don't have any cocks to put up as collateral.

Environmentalism
You have two cocks. The government bans you from milking or killing them.

Political Correctness
You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is a symbol of the phallicentric, war mongering, intolerant past) two differently - sized (but no less valuable to society) penises of non-specified width.

Surrealism
You have two vaginas. The government requires you to take penis enlargement lessons.

Boba
October 26th, 2009, 06:13 PM
hey

hey chains

you're not funny

Donut
October 26th, 2009, 06:21 PM
i thought it was funny :saddowns:
E: especially the part about your cocks going in the barn with everyone else's cocks :v:

DEElekgolo
October 26th, 2009, 06:25 PM
You forgot to replace milk.

Pyong Kawaguchi
October 26th, 2009, 06:28 PM
No he didn't
:v:

Chainsy
October 26th, 2009, 06:30 PM
:realsmug:
I never forget anything

paladin
October 26th, 2009, 06:40 PM
Some of those are wrong

Hotrod
October 26th, 2009, 06:42 PM
My brother has this poster in his house, and I was actually reading it just this morning :)

Cojafoji
October 26th, 2009, 06:49 PM
Some of those are wrong
well aren't you just a ray of sunshine...

also LOL hotrod

paladin
October 27th, 2009, 03:03 AM
I jsut point out the obvious...

Rook
October 27th, 2009, 03:06 AM
I jsut point out the obvious...

well jsut go and do that ok paladin :golfclap:

paladin
October 27th, 2009, 03:11 AM
jsut so you know, it helped. :realsmug:


Thanks for adding reputation to this user. May you be lucky enough to receive the same Reputation back in turn.

Cojafoji
October 27th, 2009, 10:39 AM
^pretentious douche baggery and atrocious grammar


locked.