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Abdurahman
May 8th, 2007, 08:24 PM
How To Build An Atom Bomb

!Warning! can blow up everything within a 15 mile radius have fun http://gmz.ptservers.org/pacmanx/images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

1. INTRODUCTION

Worldwide controversy has been generated recently from several court decisions in the United States which have restricted popular magazines from printing articles which describe how to make an atomic bomb. The reason usually given by the courts is that national security would be compromised if such information were generally available. But, since it is commonly known that all of the information is publicly available in most major metropolitan libraries, obviously the court's officially stated position is covering up a more important factor; namely, that such atomic devices would prove too difficult for the average citizen to construct. The United States courts cannot afford to insult the vast majorities by insinuating that they do not have the intelligence of a cabbage, and thus the "official" press releases claim national security as a blanket restriction.

The rumors that have unfortunately occurred as a result of widespread misinformation can (and must) be cleared up now, for the construction project this month is the construction of a thermonuclear device, which will hopefully clear up any misconceptions you might have about such a project. We will see how easy it is to make a device of your very own in ten easy steps, to have and hold as you see fit, without annoying interference from the government or the courts.

The project will cost between $5,000 and $30,000, depending on how fancy you want the final product to be. Since last week's column, "Let's Make a Time Machine", was received so well in the new step-by-step format, this month's column will follow the same format.

2. CONSTRUCTION METHOD

1. First, obtain about 50 pounds (110 kg) of weapons grade Plutonium at your local supplier (see NOTE 1). A nuclear power plant is not recommended, as large quantities of missing Plutonium tends to make plant engineers unhappy. We suggest that you contact your local terrorist organization, or perhaps the Junior Achievement in your neighborhood.

2. Please remember that Plutonium, especially pure, refined Plutonium, is somewhat dangerous. Wash your hands with soap and warm water after handling the material, and don't allow your children or pets to play in it or eat it. Any left over Plutonium dust is excellent as an insect repellant. You may wish to keep the substance in a lead box if you can find one in your local junk yard, but an old coffee can will do nicely.

3. Fashion together a metal enclosure to house the device. Most common varieties of sheet metal can be bent to disguise this enclosure as, for example, a briefcase, a lunch pail, or a Buick. Do not use tinfoil.

4. Arrange the Plutonium into two hemispheral shapes, separated by about 4 cm. Use rubber cement to hold the Plutonium dust together.

5. Now get about 100 pounds (220 kg) of trinitrotoluene (TNT). Gelignite is much better, but messier to work with. Your helpful hardware man will be happy to provide you with this item.

6. Pack the TNT around the hemisphere arrangement constructed in step 4. If you cannot find Gelignite, fell free to use TNT packed in with Playdo or any modeling clay. Colored clay is acceptable, but there is no need to get fancy at this point.

7. Enclose the structure from step 6 into the enclosure made in step 3. Use a strong glue such as "Crazy Glue" to bind the hemisphere arrangement against the enclosure to prevent accidental detonation which might result from vibration or mishandling.

8. To detonate the device, obtain a radio controlled (RC) servo mechanism, as found in RC model airplanes and cars. With a modicum of effort, a remote plunger can be made that will strike a detonator cap to effect a small explosion. These detonator caps can be found in the electrical supply section of your local supermarket. We recommend the "Blast-O-Mactic" brand because they are no deposit-no return.

9. Now hide the completed device from the neighbors and children. The garage is not recommended because of high humidity and the extreme range of temperatures experienced there. Nuclear devices have been known to spontaneously detonate in these unstable conditions. The hall closet or under the kitchen sink will be perfectly suitable.

10. Now you are the proud owner of a working thermonuclear device! It is a great ice-breaker at parties, and in a pinch, can be used for national defense.

I hope you've had a laugh after reading this!

I'm gonna be posting other (useful) tutorials too, so keep your eyes peeled!

Patrickssj6
May 8th, 2007, 08:29 PM
I knew that already.

Besides that Plutonium in such masses is extremely expensive it's possible.

Abdurahman
May 8th, 2007, 08:31 PM
ooh so you read this before?

Patrickssj6
May 8th, 2007, 08:33 PM
Yeah saw it on TV as a documentation and we had it in Physics.

As far as I know those are the basics.

*don't know the english keywords for this procedure*

Injecting energy from all sides at the same time can make the Plutonium collapse.

Abdurahman
May 8th, 2007, 08:35 PM
nice physics lesson, ill be sure to remember that, thanks

CN3089
May 8th, 2007, 08:40 PM
It probably wouldn't result in a full nuclear explosion. You'd still get a fairly large boom from the TNT, and radioactive dust falling all around it, though. Implosion-type fission weapons require a lot more precise construction than "pack the TNT around the plutonium." :downs:

Abdurahman
May 8th, 2007, 08:41 PM
well, yeah I know that, but this tutorial was just meant as a joke.;)

Emmzee
May 8th, 2007, 08:43 PM
That wouldn't work. Maybe as a dirty bomb, but no way would that create a nuclear blast.

Patrickssj6
May 8th, 2007, 08:44 PM
well, yeah I know that, but this tutorial was just meant as a joke.;)
Yeah but still those are the basics.

The problem always was the "golden rule of physics".

You have to inject as much energy to get that same amount out.

They had to find a way to create a chain reaction.The energy released from the first atom being split is used to split the next one etc.

That chain reaction is not created by some TNT and some hollow hemispheric bowling ball:p

The article is meant as a joke.

CN3089
May 8th, 2007, 08:56 PM
well, yeah I know that, but this tutorial was just meant as a joke.;)

The article is meant as a joke.

So where's the funny? http://sa.tweek.us/emots/images/emot-geno.gif

n00b1n8R
May 8th, 2007, 09:57 PM
OH NOEZ THE TERRORISTS WILL READ THIS BAN HIM!!

XD

rossmum
May 8th, 2007, 11:09 PM
I read an actual article with some really in-depth instructions that a friend found and printed out. It was rather interesting, though reading it at school probably wouldn't have given out the best impressions if anyone had noticed... whatever. I'm into physics, it's to be expected.