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Thread: Apple wants Samsung to stop making rectangular phones

  1. #1

    Apple wants Samsung to stop making rectangular phones

    http://fudzilla.net/home/item/25131-apple-wants-samsung-to-stop-making-rectangular-phones

    Moves to patent frivolous lawsuits in the process
    We have to admit we were never too kind to Apple when it comes to the outfit’s intellectual property claims, but a recently released court document sheds some light on Cupertino’s reality distortion field and the sheer scope of its nonsensical claims.

    In one of many injunctions against Samsung, Apple brought in an “expert witness” to weigh in on the matter and elaborate what exactly Samsung, and other companies, should do if they are to avoid legal action from Apple.

    So here are some of Apple’s priceless design guidelines for smartphones:

    Front surface that isn’t black.
    Overall shape that isn’t rectangular, or doesn’t have rounded corners.
    Display screens that aren’t centered on the front face and have substantial lateral borders.
    Non-horizontal speaker slots.
    Front surfaces with substantial adornment.
    No front bezel.

    Not to be outdone in the lunacy department, here are some tablet suggestions as well:

    Overall shape that isn’t rectangular, or doesn’t have rounded corners.
    Thick frames rather than a thin rim around the front surface.
    Front surface that isn’t entirely flat.
    Profiles that aren’t thin.

    So, Apple thinks it is perfectly logical to ask the competition to stop making black, rectangular phones with displays centered on the front face. For lack of a better word, priceless. Also, tablets shouldn't be rectangular, flat or thin, either.

    These “suggestions” are aimed at Samsung, but obviously they apply to everyone who dares make a black, rectangular phone or a flat tablet, neither of which are exactly Apple ideas, nor are they really something that could or should be patented in the first place. Of course, Apple is equally aware of this fact, but it’s simply abusing the legal system to make life a bit more miserable for the competition.
    I don't care how innovative their stuff has been in the past, their ego and attempts to stay on top of the market is pretty freaking ridiculous.

    giant, evil corporation.

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  2. #2
    logical disorder neuro's Avatar
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    Re: Apple wants Samsung to stop making rectangular phones

    oh god this is fucking priceless.
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  3. #3

    Re: Apple wants Samsung to stop making rectangular phones

    was this part of jobs' 5 year postmortem success plan too?
    Playing BC2 again. I'll take shitty hit registration due to Brazillian lag over built in shitty hit reg.
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  4. #4

    Re: Apple wants Samsung to stop making rectangular phones

    Breaking News: Samsung wants Apple to stop making phones in 3-dimensional space.
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  5. #5

    Re: Apple wants Samsung to stop making rectangular phones

    Lawsuits being the difference, I'd assume ;}

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  6. #6

    Re: Apple wants Samsung to stop making rectangular phones

    As far as i'm concerned apple has never been any different.


    ever.
    (how the hell did you guys not know this shit????)
    found some old assets of mine from 8 years ago lmao
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  7. #7
    GLORY TO ARSTOTZKA rossmum's Avatar
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    Re: Apple wants Samsung to stop making rectangular phones

    surprise, corporations are horrible power-tripping shitpiles

    bigger surprise, apple bad even by corporation standards

    death to apple, death to capitalism (also steve jobs was an asshole irl, why did people act as if he was literally jesus and get so depressed he died, yeah people dying is never a good thing but really, pick a better human being to get all weepy over the loss of)
    sometimes bad posters say stupid things and i put them in here
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  8. #8
    Posts, posts EVERYWHERE! Warsaw's Avatar
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    Re: Apple wants Samsung to stop making rectangular phones

    Death to humani-owait.

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  9. #9
    State your identity! Hotrod's Avatar
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    Re: Apple wants Samsung to stop making rectangular phones

    I believe the only appropriate answer to this is a giant *facepalm*.
    What do you call a lasgun with a laser sight on it? Twin linked :3
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  10. #10

    Re: Apple wants Samsung to stop making rectangular phones

    Apple is a money-whore, who's like a vampire that keeps fucking their consumers while they're trying to enjoy themselves.


    "We also tried switching back, but they say we're using too many resources. Fuck them."
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