HAHAHAHAHAHAh ah ahah xDSHD sajfhasf
XD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh that was beautiful ross
o/
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HAHAHAHAHAHAh ah ahah xDSHD sajfhasf
XD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh that was beautiful ross
o/
some random person added my msn, and i was like who the fuck is this., a rather one-sided conversation ensued.
Quote:
Paul Dalessi - back from germany. zegt:
hellooo?
Corrine zegt:
hey
Paul Dalessi - back from germany. zegt:
might i inquire as to who you are?
besides 'stranger'
Corrine zegt:
i'm 21/f your a male right?
Paul Dalessi - back from germany. zegt:
wat
Corrine zegt:
nice, I just got off work and finally got some time to relax which site did i msg you from again?
Paul Dalessi - back from germany. zegt:
are you psychic?
Corrine zegt:
I know a way we can chat and have a better time.. do you cam?
Paul Dalessi - back from germany. zegt:
i only cam with people who give me their full name, adress and social security number
Corrine zegt:
Well i don't do yahoo cam or any other cam because i have been recorded before... But i do know one site you can watch me on cam, that assures me no one records...
Paul Dalessi - back from germany. zegt:
also, where did you get my email
Corrine zegt:
I mean... Do you want to see me on my cam?
Paul Dalessi - back from germany. zegt:
i dont know, that depends on your intentions
Corrine zegt:
Ok go to <shady link> accept the invite on the page baby
Paul Dalessi - back from germany. zegt:
yyeaaah-no
Corrine zegt:
sweet, fill out the info ur info.. i can not wait for you to see me baby let me find something nice to wear
Paul Dalessi - back from germany. zegt:
bad bot
BAD BOT
Corrine zegt:
its the sites policy to ensure no minors get access to the site, so they might ask for CC to verify your age babe.
Paul Dalessi - back from germany. zegt:
BAAAAAD BOOT!
go away mister bot
Corrine zegt:
What color Panties do you think i should wear? i might have you favorite color here somewhere...
Paul Dalessi - back from germany. zegt:
i dont like bots!
Corrine zegt:
Your such a good boy, i'm gonna show you what good boys deserve.. you can tell me to do anything you want me too!
Paul Dalessi - back from germany. zegt:
my favourite colour is GO AWAY
Corrine zegt:
Ok let me know when you get in so I can invite you directly to my cam.
Paul Dalessi - back from germany. zegt:
this is going to be copypasted
Corrine zegt:
u have to enter a cc, atm, or debit card so they can tell your of age, thats the ony way to see me sweety
Paul Dalessi - back from germany. zegt:
.
Corrine zegt:
k you in yet babe??
Paul Dalessi - back from germany. zegt:
my cat is digging in the kitty-litter box
Corrine zegt:
k
Paul Dalessi - back from germany. zegt:
what would my girlfriend think?!
Corrine zegt:
AUTO RESPONSE: Click here to watch me for FREE link
Paul Dalessi - back from germany. zegt:
you are free?
Corrine zegt:
AUTO RESPONSE: Click here to watch me for FREE link
Paul Dalessi - back from germany. zegt:
no more copypasta?
\oQuote:
Originally Posted by ßðÐŻÍ££å
it was such a beautiful moment of blind optimism
I love bots.
Especially stupid ones.
E: Reply number 1337! :neckbeard:
In an attempt to get us back on topic, here's Douglas Adams on the subject of Australia.
Quote:
Australia is a very confusing place, taking up a large amount of the Bottom half of the planet. It is recognisable from orbit because of many unusual features, including what at first looks like an enormous bite taken out of its southern edge; a wall of sheer cliffs which plunge deep into the girting sea. Geologists assure us that this is simply an accident of geomorphology and plate tectonics, but they still call it the "Great Australian Bight" proving that not only are they covering up a more frightening theory, but they can't spell either.The first of the confusing things about Australia is the status of the place. Where other land masses and sovereign lands are classified as either continent, island, or country, Australia is considered all three.
Typically, it is unique in this.
The second confusing thing about Australia are the animals. They can be divided into three categories: Poisonous, Odd, and Sheep.
It is true that of the 10 most poisonous arachnids on the planet, Australia has 9 of them. Actually, it would be more accurate to say that of the 9 most poisonous arachnids, Australia has all of them. However, there are curiously few snakes, possibly because the spiders have killed them all. But even the spiders won't go near the sea.
Any visitors should be careful to check inside boots (before putting them on), under toilet seats (before sitting down) and generally everywhere else. A stick is very useful for this task.
Strangely, it tends to be the second class of animals (the Odd) that are more dangerous. The creature that kills the most people each year is the common Wombat. It is nearly as ridiculous as its name, and spends its life digging holes in the ground, in which it hides. During the night it comes out to eat worms and grubs.
The wombat kills people in two ways: First, the animal is indestructible. Digging holes in the hard Australian clay builds muscles that outclass Olympic weight lifters. At night, they often wander the roads. Semi-trailers (Road Trains) have hit them at high speed, with all 9 wheels on one side, and this merely makes them very annoyed. They express this by snorting, glaring, and walking away. Alas, to smaller cars, the wombat becomes a symmetrical launching pad, with results that can be imagined, but not adequately described.
The second way the wombat kills people relates to its burrowing behaviour. If a person happens to put their hand down a Wombat hole, the Wombat will feel the disturbance and think "Ho! My hole is collapsing!" at which it will brace its muscled legs and push up against the roof of its burrow with incredible force, to prevent its collapse. Any unfortunate hand will be crushed, and attempts to withdraw will cause the Wombat to simply bear down harder. The unfortunate will then bleed to death through their crushed hand as the wombat prevents him from seeking assistance. This is considered the third most embarrassing known way to die, and Australians don't talk about it much.
At this point, we would like to mention the Platypus, estranged relative of the mammal, which has a duck-bill, otter's tail, webbed feet, lays eggs, detects its aquatic prey in the same way as the electric eel, and has venomous barbs attached to its hind legs, thus combining all 'typical' Australian attributes into a single improbable creature.
The last confusing thing about Australia is the inhabitants. First, a short history: Some time around 40,000 years ago, some people arrived in boats from the north. They ate all the available food, and lot of them died. The ones that survived learned respect for the balance of nature, man's proper place in the scheme of things, and spiders. They settled in, and spent a lot of the intervening time making up strange stories. Then, around 200 years ago, Europeans arrived in boats from the north. More accurately, European convicts were sent, with a few deranged and stupid people in charge. They tried to plant their crops in Autumn (failing to take account of the reversal of the seasons when moving from the top half of the planet to the bottom), ate all their food, and a lot of them died.
About then the sheep arrived, and have been treasured ever since. It is interesting to note here that the Europeans always consider themselves vastly superior to any other race they encounter, since they can lie, cheat, steal, and litigate (marks of a civilised culture they say) - whereas all the Aboriginals can do is happily survive being left in the middle of a vast red-hot desert, equipped with a stick. Eventually, the new lot of people stopped being Europeans on Extended Holiday and became Australians.
The changes are subtle, but deep, caused by the mind-stretching expanses of nothingness and eerie quiet, where a person can sit perfectly still and look deep inside themselves to the core of their essence, their reasons for being, and the necessity of checking inside your boots every morning for fatal surprises. They also picked up the most finely tuned sense of irony in the world, and the Aboriginal gift for making up stories.
Be warned. There is also the matter of the beaches. Australian beaches are simply the nicest and best in the entire world. Although anyone actually venturing into the sea will have to contend with sharks, stinging jellyfish, stonefish (a fish which sits on the bottom of the sea, pretends to be a rock, and has venomous barbs sticking out of its back that will kill just from the pain) and surfboarders. However, watching a beach sunset is worth the risk.
As a result of all this hardship, dirt, thirst, and wombats, you would expect Australians to be a dour lot. Instead, they are genial, jolly, cheerful, and always willing to share a kind word with a stranger, unless they are an American.
Faced with insurmountable odds and impossible problems, they smile disarmingly and look for a stick. Major engineering feats have been performed with sheets of corrugated iron, string, and mud.
Alone of all the races on earth, they seem to be free from the 'Grass is Greener on the other side of the fence' syndrome, and roundly proclaim that Australia is, in fact, the other side of that fence. They call the land "Oz", "Godzone" (a verbal contraction of "God's Own Country") and "Best bloody place on earth, bar none, strewth." The irritating thing about this is they may be right.
There are some traps for the unsuspecting traveller, though. Do not under any circumstances suggest that the beer is imperfect, unless you are comparing it to another kind of Australian beer. Do not wear a Hawaiian shirt. Religion and Politics are safe topics of conversation (Australians don't care too much about either) but Sport is a minefield. The only correct answer to "So, howdya' like our country, eh?" is "Best {insert your own regional swear word here} country in the world!".
It is very likely that, on arriving, some cheerful Australians will 'adopt' you on your first night, and take you to a pub where Australian Beer is served. Despite the obvious danger, do not refuse. It is a form of initiation rite. You will wake up late the next day with an astonishing hangover, a foul-taste in your mouth, and wearing strange clothes. Your hosts will usually make sure you get home, and waive off any legal difficulties with "It's his first time in Australia, so we took him to the pub.", to which the policeman will sagely nod and close his notebook.
Be sure to tell the story of these events to every other Australia, you encounter, adding new embellishments at every stage, and noting how strong the beer was. Thus you will be accepted into this unique culture.
Most Australians are now urban dwellers, having discovered the primary use of electricity, which is air-conditioning and refrigerators.Typical Australian sayings:
* "G'Day!"
* "It's better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick."
* "She'll be right."
* "And down from Kosciusko, where the pine clad ridges raise their torn and rugged battlements on high, where the air is clear as crystal, and the white stars fairly blaze at midnight in the cold and frosty sky.
And where, around the overflow, the reed beds sweep and sway to the breezes, and the rolling plains are wide. The Man from Snowy River is a household word today, and the stockmen tell the story of his ride."
Tips to Surviving Australia:
* Don't ever put your hand down a hole for any reason whatsoever. We mean it.
* The beer is stronger than you think, regardless of how strong you think it is.
* Always carry a stick.
* Air-conditioning.
* Do not attempt to use Australian slang, unless you are a trained linguist and good in a fist fight.
* Thick socks.
* Take good maps. Stopping to ask directions only works when there are people nearby.
* If you leave the urban areas, carry several litres of water with you at all times, or you will die.
* Even in the most embellished stories told by Australians, there is always a core of truth that it is unwise to ignore.
See Also: "Deserts: How to die in them", "The Stick: Second most useful thing ever" and "Poisonous and Venomous arachnids, insects, animals, trees, shrubs, fish and sheep of Australia, volumes 1-42"
the good part
Quote:
Tips to Surviving Australia:
* Don't ever put your hand down a hole for any reason whatsoever. We mean it.
* The beer is stronger than you think, regardless of how strong you think it is.
* Always carry a stick.
* Air-conditioning.
* Do not attempt to use Australian slang, unless you are a trained linguist and good in a fist fight.
* Thick socks.
* Take good maps. Stopping to ask directions only works when there are people nearby.
* If you leave the urban areas, carry several litres of water with you at all times, or you will die.
* Even in the most embellished stories told by Australians, there is always a core of truth that it is unwise to ignore.
the part you just quoted there is unironically true as fuck and sound advice
trust me. you may think you're a pro survivor or some shit but this place can and will end your gay life for the slightest thing
.Quote:
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids)
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with. Kristen, age 10
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. Camille, age 10
No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married. Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age)
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. Derrick, age 8
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MUM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don’t want any more kids. Lori, age 8
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. Lynnette, age 8 (isn’t she a treasure)
On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. Martin, age 10 (Who said boys do not have brains)
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. Craig, age 9
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they’re rich. Pam, age 7 (I could not have said it better myself)
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that. Curt, age 7 (Good Point)
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do. Howard, age 8 (Who made the rule)
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
I don’t know which is better, but I’ll tell you one thing. I’m never going to have sex with my wife. I don’t want to be all grossed out. Theodore, age 8 (Too much detail for his age)
It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. Anita, age 9 (bless you child)
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN’T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there? Kelvin, age 8
And the #1 Favourite is……..
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck. Ricky, age 10 (The boy already understands)
"Are you Smarter than a Sixth Grader" makes more sense now... them 6th graders really are getting smarter >.<
Wow, reading that made me feel like australia weeds out the weak and stupid in true natural selection format. Then I remembered its governmentQuote:
Originally Posted by rossmum