Quotes Funny Random

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Rob Oplawar

But don't you see? We're each a part of the universe. By my definition, not only do you have free will (unless you're deluded and think your will is external to the universe) but you also have influence over the entire universe... at least, you have influence over your own proper future.
The universe is the ultimate perpetual motion machine, the ultimate system, the most mind-bogglingly complex and simultaneously simple thing there is, and you're an integral part of it. Of course, you're a minuscule part of it, but that doesn't bother me...
But by the laws of information, that which we designate as "you" has had an effect on the universe that can never be entirely erased, not even by a black hole. You have left your mark on everything around you, and although it may be impossible to find after the fact, it is there and it cannot possibly ever go away, not completely. Plus, since time is an illusion, instead of looking at the end of your life or comparing the inconceivably short amount of time you exist in the universe's history, you can think "right there, some billions of years after the start of it all, what amounts to a point- that is me. Not was; is. Part of the universe. Minuscule, but not insignificant."


e: The above is how I find meaning in life as an atheist. :P

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Good to know I'm not the only one who thinks of life that way, so many times I'm asked how could I have a humorous personality without believing in some divine deity.
Surprisingly enough, it also is what gives me some comfort in knowing there is a finite "end".
No more sadness, no more anger, no more envy.
Which means the choices you make in life have even more value to them.

Currently having this exchange at work:

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Actionscript: Your program doesn't work!
Me: Ok... can you tell me why?
Actionscript: No!
Me: Hm, well, the error is happening here... let's throw in a try-catch.
Actionscript: Ok! Look, I caught an error!
Me: Great! What's the error code?
Actionscript: 1069!
Me: ... Well, that's not too helpful. What's the error message?
Actionscript: "Error #1069"!
Me: I will destroy you. Google, wanna help me out here?
Google: It means you tried to access a property that does not exist.
Me: Well why didn't you just say so? Sigh, ok, let's print out a stack trace, Actionscript.
Actionscript: Dude, I can't compile that, I don't know what trace_debug is!
Me: For heaven's sake, Actionscript. import global.trace_debug;
Actionscript: Oh. I got an error when printing out the stack trace!
Me: Ugh. Well, what's the error message?
Actionscript: "Error #1009"!
Me: For fuck's sake! Google?
Google: It's essentially the same as 1069.
Me: SERIOUSLY?! Arglblarbl, ok, let's be more deliberate about printing out our stack trace. Actionscript, please pretty-please with cherries on top tell me what the stack trace is.
Actionscript: It's null. :)
Me: SASSAFRASS! Fine. I'll put trace statements in all of my functions.
Actionscript: Dude, I can't compile that, I don't know what trace_debug is!
Java: Oh, by the way, I've decided to run out of memory, and now I'm going to vomit stack traces into the data your application needs to access.
Me: :suicide:

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e:

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Actionscript: Hi! My name is Actionscript! I'm going to call myself an object-oriented language, but I'm also going to fly in the face of several well-established OO syntax conventions and completely fail at support for interfaces and inheritance!

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ee:

Quote:

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PHP: Have no fear, PHP is here! Don't mind my horrifically jumbled function space, lack of namespace support, bizarre language bugs and ability to throw exceptions outside of a stack frame.
Greeble: I can help! Just give me a second to boostra-
Oh whoops! I threw an error, but I'm super-good at recovering. See, here I g-
Oh no! The error handler died. Let me just-
Shit, where the hell did I put that file. Just a secon-
Whoa, what the hell kind of error was tha-
Jesus, hang on, I have to log thi-
Apache: Hey, I don't know what you fucktards are doing, but the thread you were running on just hanged itself.

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I just bought a scarf, on the label is says:
Wash with similar colours
Wash inside out
Do not pile whilst damp
Made in China

No joke, how the heck do you wash a scarf, inside out?

I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.

I laughed at Robs'.

Robz was lul

So I was playing some Jedi Academy today in the server I frequent, when this guy named 'SEXYLUKE' comes in and starts acting like a tard. He asked for help with saber dueling since he was new, and I tried to help a bit, after which he goes around acting like a tard some more. Hours later I check the forums and find this wall of text.

I'm "Metoer", by the way.

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hey everyone im luke im on the sever.

the past few hours i have been tormented severly. It has come to my attention that the server has no regard for people who with high aspiration, and moderate talent.

I no i am not the best player on the server but i am one of the most friendliest, welcomming and talented.

this speech is callled:

This could happen to u!

---------PART ONE: PPL ON THE SERVER------------------

Let me go through the ppl on the server so the mods know who is good and who is not

Metor - he is agreat guy who taught me lots but lately has been acting strange. He said "I am always a dickhead".

Santa - I feel bad because i caleld her gross. she is a very nince member though

Who - Who is a realy big history fan. His favorte person from history is barbarosa.

Justin - my favorite person on the srever because he is funny and fun to play with

Gonzo - Gonzo is a disgusting attitude. He lames. He fights when i am not with a saber and he sends abusive racist messages.

Bardely - Bradley is a very unsopportive person and lately has acted with lots of disregard

Prancer - Prancer is probbly the worst person i have ever encountered. he is rude, unimaginative and lacks a sense of homer.he is the most arrogant person i have met and i wish him ill luck and lots of harm. I severly recommend that he is removed from the server .


-------PART TO: Problems!-----------------------------


not any server is perfect. but this one really isn't. My time on the server has been full of strange abuse.

Problem 1 - a member and metoer were make believing to perform sex acts on me. they said (and if there are kids around please dont show them the screen) "you need to be butt fucked 500 times to be let into the clan).




I later learnt that they did not even intend to allow me into the clan to begin with


Problem 2 - the server is rift with teasing and abuse. as i explained earlier i am not he best playr on the server and i die sometimes. everyime i die they say "ah no suprise there fucking cunt idiot" and other rude words. I apologize for my languege but it must be said in my complaitns.

Problem 3 - arrogance. prancer tries to spek for all the clan. i undersatnd that i shoudl jsut ignore him but his ignorant attitude seeps into my skin and makes it hard to ignore. he is a keen racist and tries to belittle anyone on the server.

Problem 4 - rudeness. prancer a long with other members have been very keen on crushing spirit. anyne with a cheerful attitude is told to "shut up" and they are put on the gruond so they cant move by a mod, then other members pretend to have sex with them. this is wrong

Problem 5 - lameing. I am aware i ahve lamed before and i am deeply sorry. i think that we all need to evalute our selves and be hones. we can all admit to lameing, its what makes us human (or shoudl i say jedi knight palyers!)

however the reel problem is hypocrites. a hypocrite lamer is not good for the server. bradely and gonzo have tred to lame me many, many times and desptie me threatening to clal amy and typing loudly into the chat no one cares. whenever i lame, i am put on the ground to the wills of metoer and his strange ideas of fun.

--------PART THREE: THE SOLUTION-------------------------

this is a five step plan that i think will help the server

1. change ur attitude!

instad of typing abuse to new players, how abut you welcome them? my welcome onto the servber was so rude and offensive it almost made me turn away. buit it didnt. why? because i appreicated people.

I think every new player 2 the server should be greated with a cheerful message that is in tune with world affairs. for example if someone was to join today the server should say

"Hello new membre and merry chirstmas! Only a few moer days to christmas! Enjoy our server and bring along christmas spirit".

Maybe it could also be used to inform new members on news. for example:

"Helllo new member and welcome to PJs server!! North Korea has started firign upon South Korea!!"



Step 2: CONSISTENCY!!!

this is important! make sure your members are the same! make suer they are all polite!~ 99% of members being polite is not good enough. every1 (and that means U!) has to chip in and be supportivbe. no1 can be lazy. no1 can be arrogant.

Step 3: REWARD SYSTEM!

everytime you kill a person you should be given 1 rewad (maybe called a "lightsaber dollar")

lightsaber dollars can be used to upgrade the server and equipmetn.


Step 4: SPECIAL OFFERS!

some days 2 lightsaber dollars shoudl be given for a kill. like happy hour in a bar. it is an incentive for new players to join

Step 5: IMPLMENT IT!

no plan is worth having unless you can impliment.


---------------PART FOUR: CONCLUSION----------------------------------------------


this is not a nice way to start your first post. or end your first post. but it had to be done. if i am the one who has to say this than so be it. but i think i speak for all of us when i say we as a community can not let this awful operation keep gonig teh way it is.

Thankyou for reading it could happen to u and sorry if my spelling is bad i was in a rush to type this.

thankyou


btw i also registered the name luke so no1 can imitate me or mock me. p

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Hump him for me pooky

I need more funny qoutes.. Please post your funny qoutes..

This man is going into withdrawl, we need a pint bag of funny quotes on drip, stat!