Articles Funny Random

Not really an article but I figured a Craigslist post would fit here best.

http://www.startupconversations.com/...raigslist.html

also

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Originally Posted by Genesis 19 NIV

1 The two angels arrived at Sodom in the evening, and Lot was sitting in the gateway of the city. When he saw them, he got up to meet them and bowed down with his face to the ground. 2 "My lords," he said, "please turn aside to your servant's house. You can wash your feet and spend the night and then go on your way early in the morning."
"No," they answered, "we will spend the night in the square." 3 But he insisted so strongly that they did go with him and entered his house. He prepared a meal for them, baking bread without yeast, and they ate. 4 Before they had gone to bed, all the men from every part of the city of Sodom—both young and old—surrounded the house. 5 They called to Lot, "Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them."
6 Lot went outside to meet them and shut the door behind him 7 and said, "No, my friends. Don't do this wicked thing. 8 Look, I have two daughters who have never slept with a man. Let me bring them out to you, and you can do what you like with them. But don't do anything to these men, for they have come under the protection of my roof."

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Lot was a sorry ass dad.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by n00b1n8R

I read it without an accent. :downs:

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I read them out loud with an accent.

Masked ball descends into orgy

http://business.timesonline.co.uk/to...cle6719191.ece

Long article, so I spoiler tagged:

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A TEENAGE boy from Yorkshire succeeded in persuading British aviation executives that he was a tycoon about to launch his own airline. Using the pseudonym Adam Tait, the smooth-talking 17-year-old told airport and airline executives that he had a fleet of jets.
Tait, who said he was in his twenties, even flew to Jersey to attend a 1½-hour long meeting with the director of its airport. Their talks were considered promising enough for a further meeting to be arranged, which was due to be held next week.
Other air industry bosses found themselves dealing by telephone or e-mail with Tait’s fellow executives, David Rich and Anita Dash, who proposed to launch a cut-price Channel Islands-based airline servicing most of Europe.
What no one realised was that Tait, Rich and Dash were all the same person: an aircraft buff with the gift of the gab and an overactive imagination.
His exploits are reminiscent of those of Frank Abagnale Jr, who convinced the Pan Am airline that he was a pilot while still a teenager.
The Yorkshire teenager’s six-month-long ruse, which included placing articles in industry magazines, foundered only after one publication, Airliner World, became suspicious. It started to unravel the complex network that Tait had set up of fake websites, “virtual offices” complete with a real telephone receptionist and bogus names.
Last Monday he was questioned by Essex police while trying to gain access to a 93- seater jet at Southend airport, having convinced the plane’s marketing agent that his “company” wanted to lease it.
The police, who had intervened after being tipped off by Airliner World, discovered the boy’s true identity. Although no further action was taken, his fantasy was finally grounded.
The Sunday Times has agreed not to use Tait’s real name at the request of his father, who did not know of his son’s exploits until he was contacted last week.
He said that his son suffered from a form of autism and was “a phenomenal individual who is enterprising and creative” with an ability to recall the exact detail of every airline’s flight schedules. But the autism also made his behaviour highly challenging.
“He has been passionate about aeroplanes for about two years and his whole bedroom is plastered with them,” he said.
“Before that he came within two days of bringing the US cast of High School Musical to a 300-seat theatre in Shropshire by cutting and pasting mastheads from one company to another, masquerading as this or that.
“It would have happened, except when booking the hotel some queries were thrown up. I don’t know why he did it. He is not nasty or vindictive or malicious.”
The case has parallels with that of Gary McKinnon, 43, the Asperger’s syndrome sufferer who is facing extradition to the United States, accused of hacking into the Pentagon’s computers to look for evidence of UFOs (unidentified flying objects).
Tait began his elaborate hoax by buying up websites in the name of American Global Group and Island Airways. He then approached various established airlines to ask whether they wanted to give him a franchise agreement.
He claimed that the American parent company had a readily available fleet of 12 jets of varying size. His e-mails, like his telephone patter, were impressively well informed and persuasive. Each ended with the sign-off “American Global Group, 35 Countries, 22 Languages, One Team”, followed by a list of all the states in which it supposedly had offices.
Malcolm Coupar, the commercial manager of Aurigny, the airline owned by the Guernsey government, said he and Malcolm Hart, his managing director, had conducted discussions over a period of months with Tait, who was using the name David Rich.
“Some of the things he said were the sort of things that were indicative that there might have been some substance to his claims,” said Coupar. “If they were real then there would have been opportunities for us to expand our business and that’s not the sort of thing we are going to ignore.”
Tait also made approaches, with varying levels of success, to other airlines, including Titan Airways and Aer Arann.
When he made contact with Jersey airport, his patter was convincing enough to effect a 90-minute face-to-face meeting with Julian Green, the airport’s director, who said last night: “Jersey airport can confirm it has had discussions with Adam Tait over recent weeks about an ambitious network of services between Jersey, the UK and Europe.
“As further information has come to light in recent days we can now confirm negotiations on the proposal have ceased.”
Tait gained some initial credibility with an article about his supposed airline which appeared in Airliner World.
Richard Maslen, the deputy editor, said: “We spoke to a few contacts in the industry and they had also heard whispers about this proposed start-up and as a result we ran a small news piece in the magazine.”
When Tait suggested further coverage, Maslen smelt a rat. His reporter recorded Tait talking, then played the tape to Coupar, who confirmed it was the same voice as “David Rich”.
The magazine suggested Tait do some photographs and he suggested Southend airport, where he said one of his company’s jets, a 93-seater BAe 146-200, was hangared.
Tait then contacted Airstream, the agent which markets the plane, and said his company wanted to lease it. Airstream took him at face value, even offering to pick him up and chauffeur him to the airport to inspect the plane.
The teenager’s plans were about to crash, however. Concerned about his stated intention to start up the plane’s engines, Airliner World tipped off police. Officers, who intercepted the teenager and a number of colleagues who he had brought with him, warned Airstream that Tait was using multiple names and it should have nothing further to do with him.
When confronted by The Sunday Times at his family’s home in York, Tait initially denied any wrongdoing. He later admitted that he had “done some things in a bad way”, but said he had broken no laws and insisted he still harboured ambitions to make his “aviation business” take off.
His father argued that sufferers from autism have great potential. He said of his son: “People like him are not criminals, they are just misguided — they don’t understand what they are doing. Can someone grab hold of these people and harness their energy and use them for something that could be good?
“If someone with little or no education who has extreme enterprise and talent could have his energy channelled in the right direction, what could they achieve for themselves and our country?”

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That is one smart kid

That kid owns, quite frankly

what a fucking legend.

he's got some of the most powerful people in the world by the nose and was was leading them where ever he wanted.

Brilliant.

I'd bet in three years he'll have started an actual aviation firm through his tactics.

Shit, I wish I were that kid. I'm still trying to figure out how he managed to do all that.

He should seriously work his way up to a top position in an airline company... I'd hire him.

The following story contains a furry that planned to get his penis bitten off if his parents were killed by another furry.

http://www.lep.co.uk/news/Son-39in-p...ill.5477291.jp

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A man plotted to kill his adoptive parents with the help of a friend he met on the internet, a court has heard.
Christopher Monks, 24, wanted Shaun Skarnes to murder his parents Christopher and Elizabeth Monks while they slept and then perform an extreme sex act on him, Preston Crown Court was told.

The bisexual pair are alleged to have hatched the plot after meeting on an internet site about "Furries" – people who pretend to be animal characters and share sexual role-playing fantasies.

Skarnes, 19, visited Monks' family home in Preston Road, Clayton-le-Woods, near Chorley, in February after weeks of chatting to him online.

The two played computer games before Skarnes left, telling Mr and Mrs Monks he was getting the train home to Ellesmere Port, Cheshire, and thanking them for having him round.

Monks then watched a DVD with his parents while Skarnes waited for hours in a playpark nearby until he received a text from his friend, telling him the couple were asleep in the four-bedroom house they shared with their son.

Mr Monks woke in the early hours of the morning to find Skarnes beside his bed, clutching a kitchen knife.

He grappled with the intruder and yelled for help from his wife, who was sleeping downstairs.

Dad-of-three Mr Monks told the court: "I thought he was trying to kill me. My wife tried to hit him with a stick but it broke.

"She then began to talk to him in a calming way. At that point, his manner changed completely."

The couple went downstairs to find a police officer on the doorstep, who had responded to Mrs Monks' 999 call.

Mr Monks was left with bruised arms, a cut palm and bite marks.

Monks, who was downstairs during the attack, was initially treated as a witness but then later arrested.

Prosecutor Dennis Watson QC told the court that while Skarnes carried out the attack, ex-Runshaw College student Monks stayed downstairs, deleting "incriminating" text messages.

Mr Watson said Monks had talked about his sexual desire for his penis to be bitten off in online chatroom discussions.

He told the jury: "It may seem extreme that he wanted his penis bitten off, but there is ample evidence from websites he visited and conversations with Shaun Skarnes that this was a deeply held interest and one he found sexually stimulating.

"It seems that Skarnes was to receive no money for killing Mr and Mrs Monks but the prospect of biting off Monks' penis. This was the climactic act of the conspiracy."

Elizabeth Monks told the court that her adopted son was a quiet boy who never lost his temper and did well at his temping job at an educational training centre, where she also works.

Her husband added: "We have no doubt that (Christopher) did not intend to go to this extreme.There is no-one in our closest circle of friends who is not shocked at what has happened."

Skarnes, of Sutton Way, Ellesmere Port, and Monks both deny conspiracy to murder Mr and Mrs Monks.
(Proceeding)

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durp durp durp

e: oh hai, new page

That kid young adult is fucked up.

ee: This brings new meaning to the phrase bite me.

Furries ruin everything, even their own murder-orgy plans. :realsmug:

what the fuck.

how can you get your dick up to not having a dick

:WTC:

How do you get that fucked up?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ßðÐŻÍ££å

what the fuck.

how can you get your dick up to not having a dick

:WTC:

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Trannies do it all the time :downs:


Israeli cell phone ad shows friendly game of ball over the israeli/palestinian wall. Palestinians try it out IRL, get tear gas grenades back.

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Soccer game or tear gas? Palestinians put controversial ad to test http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/images/0.gif By Oded Yaron, Haaretz Correspondent http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/images/0.gif Tags: Cellcom, Israel News http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/images/tags/tag_arrow1.gif
http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/images/twitter1.gif


The row over a controversial advert for an Israeli mobile phone operator, which shows Israel Defense Forces soldiers playing soccer with Palestinians on both sides of the security barrier, continues.

In the Cellcom advert, IDF soldiers on patrol along the fence stop their jeep when it is hit by a soccer ball from the Palestinian side of the fence. The ball soon bounces back to the Israeli side, at which point the soldiers decide to hold an impromptu game with the Palestinians, cheered on by female soldiers.

The advert has been extensively criticized for making light of the Palestinian suffering inflicted by the West Bank barrier.

A video recently posted on YouTube has tried to reenact the game in reality, and found that the result could not be further removed from the situation on the ground: when the Palestinians kick the ball to the other side of the fence, what they get in return is a salvo of tear gas grenades.



Outraged Internet users have also vented their dismay on Twitter, blogs and other social networks. A Facebook group called "The new Cellcom advert makes me sick too" said on their home page: "You can go on forever about messages and media framings oozing with racism, but if you're here you think it's unnecessary. The unknown copywriter at McCann Erickson [the advertising firm behind the ad] displayed an unbelievably distasteful attitude, which does not deserve additional discussion. One thing the members of this group have in common is the shame we feel when an established Israeli company stands by such a repugnant advert, which brings us to call: remove it now!"

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http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/pict...ne-skates.html

roller blading on roller coaster.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph...g_1447137i.jpg

(audio is in link)

http://gizmodo.com/5322387/police-so...man-with-taser

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OK, this police taser business has gone way too fraking far. Now, Boise officers put a taser inside a suspect's anus—who was already handcuffed—and fired it. Here's a tape. (Warning: Strong audio violence).

Cop: Do you feel this?

Suspect: Yes, sir.

Cop: Do you feel that? That's my …

Suspect: Okay

Cop: … Taser up your ass.

Suspect: Okay

Cop: So don't move.

Suspect: I'm trying not to. I can't breathe.

Cop: Now do you feel this in your balls?

Suspect: I do, sir. I'm not going to move. I'm not gonna move.

Cop: Now I'm gonna tase your balls if you move again.

(A full minute goes by)

Cop: Okay, I'm gonna take this Taser out of your asshole now. Are you going to fight with me?

Suspect: No, not at all, sir.

Cop: (to another cop) So far, for the last two minutes, he's been cooperative. But then my Taser's in his ass.

Then they placed the taser on his genitals and threatened to do the same. The suspect still had burns inside his right buttock 13 days after the brutal attack. [Idaho Statesmen via Carlos Miller—Thanks Gitemsteve]

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:hay:

bring out the gimp

i'm fucking enraged.

2 days after my rant about tasers a cop killed a guy in QLD by shocking him something like 38 fucking times.

COOL WEAPON BRO.

Yeah, why didn't they listen to zilla's rant <:mad:>

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Con

bring out the gimp

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heh first thing that came to my mind too

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ßðÐŻÍ££å

i'm fucking enraged.

2 days after my rant about tasers a cop killed a guy in QLD by shocking him something like 38 fucking times.

COOL WEAPON BRO.

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yeah why don't we just let them shoot people dead instead

they need to weed out the kinds of idiots who do this shit, don't blame the weapon and don't generalise cops

i'd take getting shot over a fucking taser to my balls and asshole.

At least with guns the fuckers THINK that the consequences of what they're doing could or will kill the person they're shooting.

AND THATS THE FUCKING DIFFERENCE.

Perhaps if they got proper training they'd treat tasers with the same respect they treat their guns?

not going to happen ross because there are alot of sadistic fucking cunts that will abuse this 'harmless' weapon regardless of the training they receive or the education they get.

It's a serious fucking problem that they can torture these people without barely leaving a mark.
and thats exactly what it is, fucking torture, and you cant teach people not to do that, because if they're willing to do it in the first place it's fucking evident they dont deserve the badge in the first fucking place.

But what do we do, we let them off, people jump to there defence, the cunts lie to save each others ass and at the end of the day where left with the same cockheads.
Justify those that die by wearing the badge they're the choosen whites.

they're was a report out ross in the paper not long ago and 75% of all 2nd use of tasers on a suspect, the suspect was in hand cuffs and already subdued.
something like 60% of all use of them where Abuse of power.

and no i'm not pulling these figures out of my ass. this was an independent report, (the numbers may be off a bit because i'm working from memory but it was far to high to be acceptable and these figures i'm posting ARE NOT EXAGERATIONS)

In a report on Tasers tabled in the NSW Parliament in November, the Ombudsman expressed concern about the use of stun gun mode. When Tasers were rolled out to senior officers in 80 commands across NSW, four out of the first five uses were in stun mode.

''This rings alarm bells for me, as we are already seeing a completely different type of use by general-duties officers,'' the Ombudsman said.

Mr Rowlings said stun gun mode tended to be used for compliance because it could only be used close to somebody, ''and normally in those situations the person is restrained in some way''.


oh wait so i was wrong, it's actually 80%



Bruce Barbour told state parliament yesterday that general-duties police, who were issued the stun guns last month, were using Tasers at a higher rate than special operations police, who began using them in 2002.

"It is clear the number of incidents where Tasers will be used in the future will increase significantly," Mr Barbour said.

"There is already evidence of this. Tasers have been used on people on five occasions in the first two weeks of general-duties use. This compares with only 48 incidents over a five-year period" by special unit officers.

Oh wait so giving mark free weapons to a bunch of power tripping egotistical fucks WAS A BAD IDEA?

FUCK SOMEBODY ALERT THE PRESS's
And NO special ops is NOT THE SAME as street police they work in ways under much more intense training as well as regulation.

http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au...006784,00.html
http://www.canberratimes.com.au/news...px?storypage=0
http://www.theage.com.au/national/we...e.html?page=-1

"zero tolerance is not something we want in our community" talking with regards to tasers and crime.

I think it's a bit fuckign hypocritical when you take a look at things such as speeding and p Plate laws (as well as alcohol laws) that this person can stand up and say that with a straight face.
But hey when it earns them money i guess we just gotta sit down and take it with a smile.

Here have some more power, some more rights, some more freedoms while ours are slowly wittled away because afterall we know that whats in my best interest is yours.... dont we??



http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/news...842479883.html


A police officer who fired a Taser stun gun at a 16-year-old girl used excessive force, the Queensland's Crime and Misconduct Commission (CMC) has found. The CMC delivered a scathing assessment of how police handled a situation on the South Bank in April last year when the teenager defied a move-on order.

The girl had been waiting for an ambulance to treat her unconscious friend and when she refused to move on, police held her down and used the Taser on her. The CMC found the officer had shown poor discretion in requiring the girl and her companions to move on when they were waiting for an ambulance to treat their friend.

The officer failed to advise the teenagers of the consequences of disobeying a move-on direction, it said.

The officer also used the Taser contrary to Queensland Police Service (QPS) policy because the girl could have been restrained less forcefully and because the police officer admitted he knew she could be a juvenile.

It is police policy not to use Tasers against those under 18. Despite the CMC finding that the police officer had used excessive force, it recommended he only receive "managerial guidance".


Cool puppet review system bro.
even though he knew she was under 18 and they knew it was illegal to taser her for waiting for her unconscious friend to be taken to hospital when the abulance was to arive.
but we can explain this.
The magical taser theory.
sometimes these tasers just have a mind of they're own adn if you play the tape backwards you can see the cops wrestle with the demon spawned possesed taser before freeing her from it and protecting her and her unconscious friend.



managerial guidance inforce~



http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574...-29277,00.html
A MELBOURNE teenager will face court after threatening police with a machete.

Officers spotted the 16-year-old, with a large machete stuffed down his trousers, riding a bicycle through the inner Melbourne suburb of Collingwood around 3.45am (AEST) today.

When the officers approached him, he pulled out the machete and held it above his head, police said.

The teenager rode off and again threatened officers with the machete as they chased him through nearby streets.

Police from Fitzroy and Richmond stations assisted Collingwood police in a stand-off with the teenager, using capsicum spray to arrest him.

Police discovered he was also carrying two knives.

He was charged with weapons offences and assaulting police, and was bailed to appear before a Children's Court on July 16.

THEY DIDNT NEED TO USE A TASER??
YOU MEAN THEY USED TO DO IT LIKE THIS BEFORE TASERS EXISTED
WHAT THE FUCK HOW DID THIS HAPPEN I DONT EVEN



Re: Taser Watch Australia - Countdown to Deaths by Less Lethal Weapons
« Reply #61 on: June 12, 2009, 04:54:33 PM »


The more we have these unwarranted shooting stories, the louder the call will be from the "public arena" to have police armed with Tasers in Victoria.


Elijah Holcombe police shooting witness bombshell

By Adam Walters
The Daily Telegraph
June 13, 2009 12:00am


Conflicting claims ... Elijah Holcombe killed in Cinders Lane, Armidale, this month

* Elijah Holcombe "acting casual, not armed"
* Contradicts police claims on shooting
* Family devastated, police no comment

WITNESSES to the fatal police shooting of a young man have contradicted claims the officer had no choice but to shoot him.

Two women have independently sworn they did not see Elijah Holcombe armed with a knife and said he was at least 15m away from officers when he was shot in the chest. In statements obtained by The Daily Telegraph, the women claim Mr Holcombe, who suffered from mental illness, was "calm" when ordered to stop by police in Cinders Lane, Armidale, this month.

"The second person (a plain clothes police officer) was moving fast but never caught up with the first person (Elijah)," one witness said.

"I estimate the distance between them to be four or five car widths."

The second witness said Mr Holcombe's "demeanor seemed casual" and he was "in no hurry just strolling along". She said he had complied with an undercover officer's orders to stop and was calm, contrary to police claims that he ignored warnings to drop his knife.
Related Coverage

* Better to be Tasered than shot NEWS.com.au, 10 Jun 2009
* Readers' Comments: 'They did not have to kill my husband' - Perth NowNEWS.com.au,
* We forgive our son's killer Daily Telegraph, 5 Jun 2009
* 'They did not have to kill my husband' NEWS.com.au, 4 Jun 2009
* 'Cops should be ashamed' over slain man NEWS.com.au, 4 Jun 2009

"The young man turned around casually and I would say he had a look of bewilderment on his face - but he was fairly calm and casual," the woman said.

"He just turned around and stood still. I can't remember anything about his hands - I was looking at his face. He didn't say anything."

On the day of the shooting Assistant Commissioner Geoff McKechnie said the officer had no choice but to shoot Mr Holcombe because he had made threats with a knife and refused to put down the weapon.

One witness said there was no attempt by the undercover officer to negotiate with Mr Holcombe.

"The gun discharged immediately after the third warning. I remember also that the third warning was immediately after the second warning," she said.

"The young man came off the footpath into the gutter. He fell into the gutter. His head moved around a bit. His body moved slightly. I did not see the young man with a weapon."

The sworn statements were made independently by two women who had parked their cars near the scene of the shooting behind the Armidale shopping centre.

Mr Holcombe's widow Allison Garvey had told The Daily Telegraph she is "completely devastated"

"The police were presented with many choices and in every instance they (made) the most careless choice they could make," she said.

A NSW Police spokesman last night refused to comment.

"An independent Critical Incident Investigation team is preparing a report," the spokesman said.

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574...45-421,00.html


so the homicidal schizophrenic guy they shot with a knife, was actually calm, reasonable and obeying orders by the cop... and he didnt even have a knife?
oh those silly witness's clearly they're only saying these horrible things to make the cop look bad so they can get in the paper!
thats all it is surely.


Data downloaded from the officer's stun gun -- now being rolled out to police across Australia -- has revealed that amphetamines addict Antonio Galeano was shot at least 20 times, each for a duration of five seconds, before he collapsed and died while in handcuffs.

Capsicum spray had also been used on Mr Galeano during the incident, early Friday morning at a unit in Brandon, south of Townsville.

Police initially told the media that an unnamed senior constable had only used the weapon three times on Mr Galeano, 39, who earlier had allegedly assaulted a woman and was wielding a metal pipe when confronted by the officer and his partner, a first-year constable.

But The Australian can exclusively reveal that an inbuilt system in the controversial weapon -- which automatically records each time the weapon is fired -- indicated Mr Galeano was shot more than 20 times.

http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au...1-2702,00.html

the counter must be on the fritz obviously, the cop already stated he only used it 3 times on a guy who had been put in handcuffs.





http://forum.prisonplanet.com/index.php?topic=30862.40

Bodie, calm down. This isn't the thread for that; you should know, you're one of the section mods.
Find random funny articles, stick to them.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/8118257.stm

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Australian wallabies are eating opium poppies and creating crop circles as they hop around "as high as a kite", a government official has said.
Lara Giddings, the attorney general for the island state of Tasmania, said the kangaroo-like marsupials were getting into poppy fields grown for medicine.
She was reporting to a parliamentary hearing on security for poppy crops.
Australia supplies about 50% of the world's legally-grown opium used to make morphine and other painkillers.
"The one interesting bit that I found recently in one of my briefs on the poppy industry was that we have a problem with wallabies entering poppy fields, getting as high as a kite and going around in circles," Lara Giddings told the hearing.
"Then they crash," she added. "We see crop circles in the poppy industry from wallabies that are high."
Rick Rockliff, a spokesman for poppy producer Tasmanian Alkaloids, said the wallaby incursions were not very common, but other animals had also been spotted in the poppy fields acting unusually.
"There have been many stories about sheep that have eaten some of the poppies after harvesting and they all walk around in circles," he added.
Retired Tasmanian poppy farmer Lyndley Chopping also said he had seen strange behaviour from wallabies in his fields.
"They would just come and eat some poppies and they would go away," he told ABC News.
"They'd come back again and they would do their circle work in the paddock."
Some people believe the mysterious circles that appear in fields in a number of countries are created by aliens. Others put them down to a human hoax.
Here are some of your not so serious responses.
I have seen a stoned wallaby but I don't know about them making crop circles. The one I saw was slurring his words and asking me for a dollar as he was trying to get the boat to see his brother in New Zealand - he looked in no mood to be formulating a series of complex agricultural design patterns. I could be wrong - they might have masterminded the twin tower attacks, who really knows?
Dijon, Hobart, Tasmania


This has to be the funniest headline of the year so far. Trippy Skippy.
Arcadian, Oxford


My cat Monkey, a Tonkinese cat, started to walk in circles mysteriously about two months ago. My suspicion is the radar from the two police cars parked in front of my apartment building has an effect or sonar like sound that humans cannot hear may have an effect. I was struck by this news article and had to respond.
Barbara Ann Levy, West Palm Beach, Florida


I resent this report that we are high as a kite and making crop circles! I haven't been stoned since 1971. A few young hoppers eat the wrong plant and you trash our species in the news. What's this world coming to!
Wally Baby, Australia Bush


I saw a whole bunch of them dingos going mad in my corn field only last night. I'm not sure if they were high or not but I'm pretty sure they were. One of them had a ghettoblaster and they were listening to some kind of fast electronic music. Lock 'em up and throw away the key, that's what I say!
Roger, Melbourne


I was travelling in Tasmania in the summer of last year and witnessed what I believed as dancing wallabies. I was intoxicated at the time and so put it down to the poppies I had consumed earlier that day. However after reading this article that experience made a lot of sense.
Alan Rees , Tring


Bumped into a couple o' stoned wallabies coming out the co-op up Lochgelly high street the other night. This seems to be a problem on both sides of the globe.
John Smith, Lochgelly, Fife, Scotland


I've lived in Tasmania for many years. Not only do wallabies congregate in poppy fields, but also on the local golf courses. They do this mainly at night and I can only assume they're playing several rounds of golf while avoiding greens fees. You only need to be really worried when one of the stoned wallabies gets into a golf buggy.
John Larson, Launceston, Tasmania, Australia


I want to know who sold out the wallabies? Who's the narc? My guess is the platypus, he is such an odd duck.
Chet Guest, St. Paul, Minnesota USA


Don't know about crop circles but I saw one today trying to jack a car, presumably trying to get enough together for his next fix.
Greg Corcoran, Durham, UK

The question should be whether or not those law breaking wallabies should be brought to justice for indulging in illegal substances. The law makes no exceptions for no-one no matter what their excuse is or even what species they may be. They are not setting an example for their joeys nor for any other marsupials and I fear this could become an epidemic of outback size proportions.
Phil, Edinburgh

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e/f;b

"Refusing to move on" is a bit different from physically lashing out at a cop. If you attack a cop, you deserve to get tasered for being so stupid. I'm not even going to bother going through every point you've made there but it's pretty evident that the girl was not as blameless as the written report made her out to be.

If you work under constant threat of being shot at, stabbed, or attacked by druggies with used syringes, you're not likely to take any chances. If someone starts getting aggressive, you're not going to think twice about putting them down. Using a taser more than once or twice is definitely inexcusable and the officers involved should be kicked out of the force, but at the same time, I really want to hurt people who make out like each and every cop is the spawn of the devil himself and tasers are an evil instrument put into their hands to make the innocent suffer.

I don't know about you, but the only dealings I've ever had with the police were when I had to call them or when they came to our school for safety lectures. I don't mouth off or get violent, and I don't expect I'll ever get tased by them. If you stay calm and handle things properly, there is little chance of them pulling a taser on you and even if they do there will be absolutely NO justification for it. If some people are too flat-out stupid to realise that, I honestly don't care what happens to them. It's their own fault.

i'm pretty sure that if i was baby sitting an unconscious friend while waiting for an ambulance and i was told to fuck off i'd tell them to fuck off because i'm protecting them.

you know the whole "Mate" thing.
i'd do the same for you.

Hey guys, requesting that article, I thought it was posted here, about 5 badass soldiers that were too badass to be believable characters in a movie. or something like that. I looked through here, and did searches but i can't find it. Anyone have it?

Kanye west declares himself the King of Pop

Quote:

---

Kanye West is new self-appointed King of Pop

In a move typical of the modest and understated Kanye West, he has deigned himself the new King Of Pop. The always demure and self-deprecating reluctantly stepped up to the position no one asked him to fill. He humbly states, "There's no one who can match me in sales and in respect (one assumes he means self-respect) so it only makes sense for me to take over Michael's crown and become the new King of Pop." He added, "First there was Elvis, then there was Michael, now in the 21st century it's Kanye's time to rule."
He then presumably ripped the King of Pop scepter from Michael's bony hands and waited for his procession to his grand, tacky castle. The coronation ceremony is yet to be announced.
This is awesome on multiple levels. First, it has Kanye referring to himself in third person, which is always the greatest sign of douchery. Second, it is more a military coupe than democratic decision, which is actually very typical of monarchy. Screw what the people think! King Henry Kanye iV answers to no one! Third, no offense to the massive talent Elvis and Michael possessed, would you really want to inherit that legacy? They didn't do so well, personal-life-wise.
Can't wait for the Shakespearean play praising his rise to power and his heroic decisions in battle. Unless it plays off more like Richard III.

---

hahahahaha what a fag.



fish.

Look at how smug Kanye West is!

oh god who does he think he is i dont even

Quote:

---

SAN ANTONIO (AP) — San Antonio police say a woman accused of beheading her 3-week-old infant son used a knife and two swords in the attack and ate some of the child's body parts.

San Antonio Police Chief William McManus told reporters Monday that Otty Sanchez's attack on her son, Scott Wesley Buchholtz-Sanchez, was "too heinous" to fully discuss.

But he says Sanchez ate part of the newborn's brain and bit off three of his toes before stabbing herself twice.

Police say the 33-year-old Sanchez told officers who were called to her house early Sunday that she killed her son at the devil's request.

Sanchez is charged with capital murder and is being held on $1 million bail. She is recovering from her wounds at a hospital.

---

:gonk: Source

Article is not funny. :gonk:

lets keep it humorous in here..

random is also in the title, and that was both random and interesting to read <_<

http://www.spike.com/blog/how-to-make-girls/84496

This is fucking awesome I want a video of it in action.

Holy, yes!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ICEE

lets keep it humorous in here..

---

I created this thread to be interpreted as "articles funny/random". Does not have to be both.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ICEE

Hey guys, requesting that article, I thought it was posted here, about 5 badass soldiers that were too badass to be believable characters in a movie. or something like that. I looked through here, and did searches but i can't find it. Anyone have it?

---

www.cracked.com
It would more than likely be there, do a search. It might be one of their most popular articles, actually.

I love Cracked. <3

http://www.cracked.com/article_17019...ike-pussy.html
?

It looks ridiculous and sounds ridiculous but really I don't find myself that shocked, if they want to do that then go for it.
There have been just as strange if not stranger weddings, I know I've seen halo-themed weddings on HBO a few times.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by teh lag

here have been just as strange if not stranger weddings, I know I've seen halo-themed weddings on HBO a few times.

---

I want to know how the hell your supposed to kiss the bridge with a helmet on....:v:

what the living fuck

i mean if it makes them happy then sure go ahead but what the living fuck

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/cas/1306084234.html

Ok, a little bit of an update on the above craigslist article. It's actually a troll by my friend WSage... and he's received some interesting responses. Although its more fitting for the quotes section, just read this.

Quote:

---

Never tell your password to anyone.
Tetris<3EVERYONE: This is incredibly disturbing.
Sweet Bro: hmm
Tetris<3EVERYONE: You remember my craiglist caper?
Sweet Bro: yeah
Tetris<3EVERYONE: people have decided that they would love to clean my room for no money.
Sweet Bro: quotes
Tetris<3EVERYONE: I taken a look youre post on craigslist, I guess Id send you response
bcause I think we will get along. If you want I can get some photos
and mail them but mail me first. You should tell me a tad about you
and what you'd like 2 know bout me?
Sweet Bro: need em
Tetris<3EVERYONE: The question is, what do i do with THIS one
Tetris<3EVERYONE: this actually a guy, i have no idea what he was doing browsing m4w.
Sweet Bro: wat
Tetris<3EVERYONE: i should just send an email back, "Do you have a broom dude? Seriously I'm gonna get evicted"
Sweet Bro: rofl
Tetris<3EVERYONE: OH MY GOD
Tetris<3EVERYONE: hi How are you? I'm trying to get plans for my weekend to go out and
have a good time and your ad stood out.} Reply to me when you can so I
know your for real and we can make arrangements. TTFN
Tetris<3EVERYONE: GOOD TIME!
Sweet Bro: LOL
Tetris<3EVERYONE: cleaning is awesome.
Tetris<3EVERYONE: i good so horny cleaning.
Sweet Bro: wat
Tetris<3EVERYONE: Ola I am just investigating to see if ur fake or not. Hit me back if
you are, and we'll go from there.
Sweet Bro: srs?
Tetris<3EVERYONE: my respnose to that last one, which i am sending right now:
Tetris<3EVERYONE: Seriously I'm gonna get evicted just clean my damn room
Tetris<3EVERYONE: SENT
Tetris<3EVERYONE: apparently, people in downtown manhattan get horny when they clean!
Sweet Bro: LOL
Tetris<3EVERYONE: Seriously I'm gonna get evicted just clean my damn room
Tetris<3EVERYONE: i sent that to her btw
Tetris<3EVERYONE: for realsies
Sweet Bro: OH GOD
Tetris<3EVERYONE: i never realized exactly how powerful the internet makes people likeme
Sweet Bro: rofl
Tetris<3EVERYONE: hi How are you? I'm trying to get plans for my weekend to go out and
have a good time and your ad stood out.} Reply to me when you can so I
know your for real and we can make arrangements. TTFN
Tetris<3EVERYONE: ok, i'm thinking of how to reply
Tetris<3EVERYONE: Yeah, cleaning is a nice way to spend a weekend. I only have like 2 weeks to get my shit together so please come soon
Tetris<3EVERYONE: yep, i am sending that
Tetris<3EVERYONE: does it have the joey stamp of approval?
Sweet Bro: hell yes
Tetris<3EVERYONE: all right, then it's sent out
Sweet Bro: :D
Sweet Bro: brb articles thread on modacity

---

being fucking trolled by the army of two devs got damn

http://www.armyoftwo.com/us/blog/wdc...ent-2009-08-06

Quote:

---

Description:

This nugget of awesome is a combination sniper rifle/grenade launcher! The extended clipazine holds plenty of specialized rounds, while the hopper on top holds small grenades that can blow anything up! The 2 scopes improve accuracy. This weapon, invented by Mack of Future Weapons, combines the firepower of a grenade launcher with the accuracy of a sniper rifle. However, it is bolt-action, which means it is slow to reload.

Of the Sniper Launcher, Alex Hutchinson mentions, "This one was great for gameplay, and was something we thought people would get a kick out of using in the game on a second playthrough. It's a bit unbalanced, so not something we were going to make ourselves for the core game, but I think players will get a kick out of it."

Now that the winners have been selected, Alex mentions that the team is quickly getting to work on getting them into the game, "We've already begun modeling them, then we'll start testing them to see how they feel, and try to make sure that they're satisfying and cool."

The entire team from EA Montreal would like to thank all the fans who participated in the Weapon Design Contest whether by submitting an entry, or voting on your favorite weapon. We hope you enjoy the playing with the winning selections when Army of Two: The 40th Day releases in stores!

---

ps this site is literally one huge funny article

Man: Naughty Kitty Downloaded Kiddie Porn

Quote:

---

You've heard the one about the dog eating the homework, now hear about the cat who downloaded the kiddie porn.

Keith Griffin was charged Wednesday with 10 counts of possession of child porn after over 1,000 illegal images were found on his computer, and he claims it's all the work of his kitty.

The 48-year-old Jensen Beach, Fla., man told cops he would leave his computer on and the cat would jump on the keyboard and just like that, the images would appear.

Cops weren't buying Griffin's tale, and busted him in his home. He's being held in Martin County Jail on $250,000 bail, according to tcpalm.com.

Could it all be a sinister plot from a vindictive feline? Maybe. After all, cats have been known to play a smooth tune on a keyboard before. But for now, cops have ruled the kitty out as a suspect and he is resting comfortably with one of Griffin's relatives.

---

http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-a...rious-basterd/

a good read. worth the time.

Definitely, thanks for linking.

!!!BUMP!!!

Search Yahoo Answers for 'ant semen'. Trust me on this one.

:gonk:

Why!?!?!

I must test this... FOR SCIENCE!!

Not so much funny as just mind-boggling.

Quote:

---

Roberto dos Santos and Wagner Mota sold the object to a scrapyard owner—Devair Alves Ferreira—who intended to make a ring for his wife out of the strange and beautiful blue material.

---

Take a wild guess as to what that glowing blue material was!

Most awesome newt ever.

Quote:

---

Bizarre newt uses ribs as weapons

Matt Walker
Editor, Earth News
http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/shared/img/cccccc.gif

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/image...37395_newt.jpg The Spanish ribbed newt more than lives up to its name


One amphibian has evolved a bizarre and gruesome defence mechanism to protect itself against predators.
When attacked, the Spanish ribbed newt pushes out its ribs until they pierce through its body, exposing a row of bones that act like poisonous barbs.
The newt has to force its bones through its skin every time it is attacked, say scientists who have described the form and function of the barbs in detail.
Yet this bizarre behaviour appears not to cause the newt any ill effects.
The ability of the Spanish ribbed newt to expose its rib bones was first noticed by a natural historian in 1879.
But scientists have now used modern photographic and X-ray imaging techniques to reveal just how the animal does it.
http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/image...7979_newt2.jpg The ribs have burst through the skin, ready to sting any attacker

And what they discovered is even more gruesome than they imagined.
When the newt becomes agitated or perceives a threat, it swings its ribs forward, increasing their angle to the spine by up to 50 degrees.
As it does this, the newt keeps the rest of its body still.
"The forward movement of the ribs increases the body size and stretches the skin to the point of piercing it," says zoologist Egon Heiss of the University of Vienna in Austria.
The tips of the newt's ribs then stick outside its body, like exposed spines.
http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/image...6237396_02.jpg Arrows point to a poisonous secretion which coats the tips of protruding ribs

But there is more to the newt's defence, Heiss and his Vienna-based colleagues report in the Journal of Zoology.
"When teased or attacked by a predator, [the newt] secretes a poisonous milky substance onto the body surface. The combination of the poisonous secretion and the ribs as 'stinging' tools is highly effective," says Heiss.
The impact on any predator can be striking, particularly if they try to bite the newt or pick it up using their mouth.
Then the poison in almost injected into the thin skin within the mouth, causing severe pain or possibly death to the attacker.
http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/image...6237980_04.jpg A computer tomograph shows the sharp rib points and vertebral column

As well as elucidating the spear-like shape of the ribs, and exactly how the ribs swing forward and protrude, the scientists have demonstrated that the bones must break through the newt's body wall every time the amphibian evokes the defence response.
Initially, it was thought that the ribs may passively emerge through pores, rather than be actively driven through the body wall.
Surprisingly, the newt, which is related to other newts and salamanders, appears to suffer no major ill effects, despite repeatedly puncturing its own body and exposing its rib bones.
"Newts, and amphibians in general, are known to have an extraordinary ability to repair their skin," says Heiss.
http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/image...6237981_03.jpg On the left, the ribs of a relaxed newt point backwards, while on the right an agitated newt brings its ribs forward, ready to strike through the skin

"Anyway, if this newt can avoid being eaten in some cases, this surely has a positive influence."
It also seems that the newt is immune to its own poison, which is normally confined to glands in the newt's body.
When the newt wounds itself by exposing its ribs, the poison can seep into its body tissue, again apparently with no ill effects.
Heiss now hopes to investigate which compounds are in the poison.

---

http://steamcommunity.com/id/sexyrussell
http://steamcommunity.com/groups/SRSAstudio2
This guy is the coolest bro ever.

ant semen :lmao:

http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/Home_Page.html#more
Not quite an article, but still brilliant. I'll join their group! :-3

http://weirdnewsfiles.com/weird-news...being-too-fat/

New Zealand is officially awesome
:iamafag:

I love all the people whining about discrimination.

If they want to move to NZ THAT much, they'll actually do themselves some fucking good and lose the weight. You aren't gay, short, ugly, or whatever by choice, but in most cases, people are only obese because they are absolute slobs. I can understand how those with legitimate medical reasons for being obese might be upset, but people who simply can't be fucked deserve a good kick up the arse. You know the kind - the ones you see coming into Maccas every mealtime with their six obese, spoilt, bratty kids.

I mean, fuck. I am the most unhealthy eater I know and the only exercise I get is walking to the shops once a fortnight or PT on parade nights (yeah, that's going to have to change unless I want my arse whooped at Kapooka), but I'm underweight. Surely it can't be too fucking hard for a biologically 'normal' person to keep within NZ's limits?

Wow that almost makes me want to support universal health care

Quote:

---

i am a scientist says:
September 3rd, 2008 at 12:20 am

we’re a small country and sinking is a serious problem.

---

I lol'd.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Rob Oplawar

http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/Home_Page.html#more
Not quite an article, but still brilliant. I'll join their group! :-3

---

That.
Is.
Awesome.

Way to make good money, too.

Ross please don't end up like this when your done.
http://news.uk.msn.com/odd-news/arti...ntid=149250016

Code:

---

Ex-soldier wages war on grammar
 A former soldier is waging a one-man war on poor use of the English language after picking up a paintbrush to correct the grammar on his own street's signs.
 Taking up the mantle of Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells, Stefan Gatward added an apostrophe to two of his "St Johns Close" signs so they read "St John's Close".
 But his efforts to improve the punctuation on the signs in his cul-de-sac were greeted with mixed feelings.

---

I'm already a bit like that :ohdear:

http://www.mathstat.uottawa.ca/~rsmith/Zombies.pdf
Modelling of a zombie apocalypse.

http://torrentfreak.com/sony-music-o...raided-090907/

Quote:

---

Sony Music denies the allegations and insists they are authorized to use the recordings even though Fernández’s contract has ended. They hope that the Mexican court will be on their side.

---

That defense didn't work for The Pirate Bay, I fail to see why it should work for you faggots.

S-0wned-y.

what was that?

oh yeah, sweet justice.

Rather old, but thought it was hilarious.

Quote:

---

It was the ultimate expression of road rage. A furious woman driver died after ramming another vehicle and spinning her wheels so fast that her own car burst into flames.
Serena Sutton-Smith, 54, burnt to death after refusing to get out of her Vauxhall Nova as she sat with her foot flat on the accelerator.
She spun the wheels so fast that her tyres disintegrated and the metal rims sent a shower of sparks into the engine, igniting the brake fluid and setting the car on fire.
Appalled onlookers urged her to get out of the car as the flames licked around her but she told them to “F*** off”, an inquest in Gloucester was told.

---

Source

LMFAO

Got this from my geometry textbook:

Quote:

---

Danny is standing at one point. Kyle is at another. They are in a straight line. Between Danny and Kyle is Irene. Between Irene and Kyle is Cynthia. Draw a diagram of their positions on a line segment.

---

So, I drew it out:
http://img30.imageshack.us/img30/9506/98978367.jpg

:haw:

I looked in the back for the answers since it give the solutions to the odd problems and it's actually written as KCID instead. Oh well, I still lol'd.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ninja_Golf

Best.Game.EVER.

http://money.cnn.com/2009/09/21/tech...eutrality_FCC/

not one for posting cnn articles, or even reading them, but this one makes me happy. :D

Net Neutrality ftw!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Cojafoji

http://money.cnn.com/2009/09/21/tech...eutrality_FCC/

not one for posting cnn articles, or even reading them, but this one makes me happy. :D

---

Quote:

---

At issue is the fact that data-heavy applications, like a video from YouTube for instance, can clog and slow down Internet connections, disrupting service for customers and costing providers money.

---

Article sucks, paraphrases Ted Stevens.

:smith:

(Seriously, though, I'm happy for this.)

I saw the announcement for that on Engadget, and I was all like "SQUEEEEEEEEE!"

:-3

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by p0lar_bear

Article sucks, paraphrases Ted Stevens.

:smith:

(Seriously, though, I'm happy for this.)

---

i'm more happy for the isp's having to spell out EXACTLY what their service implies. i.e. "we block ports such and such for these reasons, for thus and such etc".

Police play Wii bowling during drug raid

Video

http://www.facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=820203

Okay, not an article, but this thread needs a bump and this is fairly entertaining to read.

http://www.destructoid.com/developer...er-30025.phtml

Wow, testing video games is serious business....

sounds like my work, just not as hectic for as long.


"righto i want this entire vanity sprayed 8 times/ 4 coats, sanded 3 times (there was about 25 peices of wood just for that vanity, it was all open shelf)
oh and i want the entire kitchen in there done as well.

oh and all the doors we have given you have problems, cracks, scratches, dings ect, everyone which means you'll have to spend all this time fixing these up. before you can spray them.

it's your first time ever spraying things for us but i want there to be absolutely nothing outta place, if there is i'm gunna winge to the boss and yell alot, compounded by how much i winge and yell from my glass house already.
oh and we dont feel like acknowledging your 99% rate of perfect application.
oh and we are only gunna give you 1 piece of sand paper to sand everything, oh and they all have to be done by today.

oh and we dont feel like paying you OT
oh and we dont feel like paying you above the minimum wage.

What do you mean your frustrated? you must be one arrogant cunt to talk to use like that! Back in the old days we used to yadada and we'd do it TWICE AS FAST WITH SPEED AND QUALITY UNMATCHED yearpd ayeaopsdk rara oh these youth today sadflkhgslakhsalgkhsag"


dont ever be a cabinet maker unless you're your own boss, because jesus tap dancing christ i swear the entire industry is insane.

Can't remember if this was posted or not:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/07/29/aboxalypse_now/

http://regmedia.co.uk/2009/07/28/sony_3.jpg

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...ouse-hole.html

http://www.worldbeardchampionships.com/
Last one not an article, but still EQUALLY FUCKING AWESOME.

Bear on Ice :allears:

Quote:

---

MOSCOW, Russia (CNN) -- A bear on ice skates attacked two people during rehearsals at a circus in Bishkek, the capital of Kyrgyzstan, killing one of them, Kyrgyz officials said Friday.
In the incident, which happened Thursday, the 5-year-old animal killed the circus administrator, Dmitry Potapov, and mauled an animal trainer, who was attempting to rescue him.
"The incident occurred during a rehearsal by the Russian state circus company troupe which was performing in Bishkek with the program, Bears on Ice," Ministry of Culture and Information director Kurmangazy Isanayev told reporters.
It is unclear what caused the bear to attack Potapov, 25, nearly severing one of his legs while dragging him across the ice by his neck. Medical personnel were unable to save Potapov, who died at the scene.
The 29-year-old circus trainer Yevgeny Popov, who attempted to rescue Potapov, was also severely injured, according to doctors.
"The victim has sustained serious injuries - deep scalp lacerations, bruising of the brain, lacerations on his body. His condition is considered critical," Dr. Gulnara Tashibekova told reporters on Russian state television.
After the incident, the circus was cordoned off by police and emergency service workers. Experts have been brought in to examine the bear, which was shot and died at the scene.
Russia has a long-standing tradition of training bears to perform tricks such as riding motorcycles, ice skating, and playing hockey. Fatal attacks are unusual.

---

Looks like that bear...
...got the last laugh.
:caruso:

http://www.newser.com/story/74400/te...-marriage.html

Ahahahahaha, that's great.

Some dude marries his Love Plus girlfriend...



wtf

What the motherfucking shitfucks.

http://gizmodo.com/5413037/google-google-google-google
gud

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MrBig

http://gizmodo.com/5413037/google-google-google-google
gud

---

It's nice, but I'd like to see a version with 9 windows.

:ugh:

http://img40.imageshack.us/img40/6933/43869101.png
googlegooglegooglegoogle googlegooglegooglegoogle googlegooglegooglegoogle googlegooglegooglegoogle
googlegooglegooglegoogle googlegooglegooglegoogle googlegooglegooglegoogle googlegooglegooglegoogle
googlegooglegooglegoogle googlegooglegooglegoogle googlegooglegooglegoogle googlegooglegooglegoogle
googlegooglegooglegoogle googlegooglegooglegoogle googlegooglegooglegoogle googlegooglegooglegoogle

I'm ready to google!

http://www.leenks.com/link245568.html
This is...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ultama121

http://www.leenks.com/link245568.html
This is...

---

Jesus christ, what horrible blogspam. Here is the conversation on the original creator's site

isn't googlegooglegooglegoogle.com old?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ExAm

Jesus christ, what horrible blogspam. Here is the conversation on the original creator's site

---

I saw this on stumble. Absolutely hilarious.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ExAm

Jesus christ, what horrible blogspam. Here is the conversation on the original creator's site

---

Holy shit thank you for linking this site, I've been looking for it for a while.

http://www.prefixmag.com/news/michae...people-/35478/

What. The. Fuck.

Not really an article, but Farks top twenty headlines:

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4903022&tt=s


20: Small plane rapidly plunges into bottom end of Virgin Islands, to be renamed Technical Virgin Islands

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4735920

19: That foot found at a NY recycling center? Turns out it belonged to a bear. You'd think police could recognize a bearclaw when they see one

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4563717

18. India loses contact with an unmanned spacecraft conducting its first moon mission. Support techs ask Mission Control to confirm that the spacecraft is turned on and that it is currently plugged in

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4605340

17: Bolivian animal rights activists succeed in banning circuses from using animals, but now have to figure out what to do with 22 useless lions, a problem Detroit has faced for years

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4729890

16: Police in London solve 1 crime for every 1000 CCTV cameras. Or about 2 for every 1984

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4595452

15: One killed, six injured in pie factory explosion. Blast heard up to 3.14159265 miles away

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4320734

14: Man gets called into work so he can be fired, returns home to find his house on fire. Wishes he had been laid off

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4351606

13: Plane crashes in Florida panhandle, no pilot found. Well there's your problem

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4138365

12: Semi-nude Victoria's Secret fashion models reveal untold talents and you've already clicked the link, haven't you? Have I told you about my mother lately? No, she's doing fine, just making cheesecake and some muffins this morning

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4787841

11: Fire rips through homeless camp, leaving dozens...well, no worse off, really

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4299493

10: Carpenters face higher-than-average asbestos death rate, higher-than-average resurrection rate

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4247908

9: Police find severed head, will later reveal whether it's "linked to body parts found in Hertfordshire." Submitter suspects the answer may be "Not any more"

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4306764

8: Peephole in door of girl's dorm room reversed; police are looking into it

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4233284

7: Man at Panda Express eats shoots and leaves

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4332430

6: Suicide bomber strikes Iraqi funeral. At least two dead

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4284352

5: 80-ton wave generator works briefly as advertised when it falls into the ocean

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4651134

4: Baghdad's National Museum reopens six years after looting. Featured displays include mostly a bunch of really heavy stuff

http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=4228845

3: Fire officials in SoCal wildfires: "GTFO." Residents: "STFU." Fire: "NOM NOM NOM." Residents: "OMG." Fire department: "DIAF"

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2: Jesus prepares to receive Oral

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1: Gas blowing out exit brings 69 to a complete halt

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