I personally don't mind bizzare news threads, although it might be better to revise them all into one thread, where people can c/p articles with a comment.
There you have it. Buckshot (and anyone else who happens to find an interesting news post or link on the internets), do your thing.
Okay, let me lay down a couple of guidelines. Since this thread will probably be both for posting and commenting on articles, please quote the post of the article you're commenting on, just to avoid any confusion. If it's long, clip it short. The point is to have a link to the post you are referencing.
A protester has thrown a shoe at Wen Jiabao during a speech at Cambridge University and called the Chinese prime minister a "dictator".
The shoe landed about a metre away from Mr Wen and the protester, a young man, was then removed by security guards.
Mr Wen, who earlier signed a series of trade agreements with Gordon Brown on the final day of a three-day UK visit, described the incident as "despicable".
Protests have taken place about human rights and Tibet during his visit. Protests
Five people were arrested in London on Sunday after trying to approach Mr Wen.
According to eye-witnesses, Mr Wen was interrupted near the end of a speech he was giving in Cambridge on the global economy.
According to the Press Association, the shoe was thrown from the back of the hall and landed "well away" from Mr Wen.
Reports said the protester urged the audience to challenge the Chinese prime minister, shouting "how can the university prostitute itself with this dictator?" http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/image...06819719-1.jpg Mr Wen has faced protests throughout his UK visit
AFP reported that fellow members of the audience shouted "shame on you" as he was escorted out of the auditorium.
Police later confirmed that the man had been arrested on suspicion of a public order offence.
As Mr Wen arrived to deliver the speech, he was met by both pro-Chinese supporters and people demonstrating against China's human rights record in its own country and in Tibet.
The incident was similar to an event in December when US President George W Bush was forced to duck to avoid shoes thrown at him during a visit to Iraq. 'Determination'
Earlier, Prime Minister Gordon Brown called for greater collaboration on trade between the UK and China during talks with Mr Wen at Downing Street.
Mr Brown said they shared a determination to reverse the economic downturn and Mr Wen said "concerted efforts" were needed to "address the common challenges that we face".
Mr Wen said the economic crisis showed the "dangers of a totally unregulated market".
He added: "Only by working together, only by making a concerted effort, can we address the common challenges we face."
Mr Brown said the 4 trillion yuan (£400bn) fiscal stimulus announced by the Beijing authorities in November would help British exports to China, particularly in low-carbon technologies.
"The strength of the relationship between China and Britain will be a pivotal force in helping us through the downturn and a powerful driving force behind our future growth and prosperity."
Mr Wen met Conservative leader David Cameron for 45 minutes on Sunday to talk about topics including the economic crisis and fighting climate change.
Mr Cameron raised human rights issues with the Chinese leader and emphasised the importance of "greater participation" in Beijing's political process.
Mr Wen's European tour includes visits to Germany, Spain, and Brussels.
Edit by suggestion of Timo:
Apparently shoe throwing has become pretty popular as a form of expression. The Chinese PM deserves it about as much as anyone, for all the shit China puts its citizens, as well as the Tibetans through. Buckshot, if you try to argue any further that China is even close to alright when it comes to ethics, you'd best prepare yourself for a shitstorm. Trying to claim that the Tibetans have it coming is like saying that the Gazans deserved what they got because they fired a shell back after the Israelis bombed them to hell.
February 2nd, 2009, 11:41 PM
Heathen
Re: Articles Funny Random #1
Technically my idea for this thread :[
Throwing shoes is the best new meme ever.
February 2nd, 2009, 11:46 PM
Mr Buckshot
Re: Articles Funny Random #1
Thanks. About the shoe-throwing thing, that wasn't any better than the Iraq one. This guy didn't have a damn thing to do with the gruesome stuff of '89. As for Tibet, I support its independence but the way in which it's being "fought" for is stupid.
February 2nd, 2009, 11:59 PM
English Mobster
Re: Articles Funny Random #1
What is up with people and throwing shoes?
February 3rd, 2009, 12:16 AM
legionaire45
Re: Articles Funny Random #1
Sad that he missed, tbh.
February 3rd, 2009, 12:43 AM
Timo
Re: Articles Funny Random #1
A couple of ground rules:
Always link to the source of the article
A brief comment of your opinion too, instead of just ".", "discuss", etc.
February 3rd, 2009, 12:52 AM
Mr Buckshot
Re: Articles Funny Random #1
Quote:
Originally Posted by legionaire45
Sad that he missed, tbh.
Hit or miss doesn't make a difference.
February 3rd, 2009, 02:43 AM
Bodzilla
Re: Articles Funny Random #1
Buckshot are you seriously that ignorant to the well of human right violations china continues to ignore?
fucks sake man open your eyes. They're people too.
February 3rd, 2009, 05:55 AM
ExAm
Re: Articles Funny Random #1
Quote:
Originally Posted by Timo
A couple of ground rules:
Always link to the source of the article
A brief comment of your opinion too, instead of just ".", "discuss", etc.
Source is linked in the words, "start it off", but I should add a comment.
February 3rd, 2009, 10:59 AM
TeeKup
Re: Articles Funny Random #1
Oh god that reporter has started a trend. I expect shoe wars soon.
February 3rd, 2009, 12:31 PM
=sw=warlord
Re: Articles Funny Random #1
Quote:
Originally Posted by TeeKup
Oh god that reporter has started a trend. I expect shoe wars soon.
Well einstein did say we would be fighting world war 4 with stgicks and stones but didnt know what world war 3 would be faught with.
Now we know.
February 3rd, 2009, 03:30 PM
ExAm
Re: Articles Funny Random #1
Quote:
Originally Posted by =sw=warlord
Well einstein did say we would be fighting world war 4 with stgicks and stones but didnt know what world war 3 would be faught with.
Now we know.
In a world, where clown shoes are considered weapons of mass destruction...
February 3rd, 2009, 06:01 PM
Mr Buckshot
Re: Articles Funny Random #1
Quote:
Originally Posted by ßðÐŻÍ££å
Buckshot are you seriously that ignorant to the well of human right violations china continues to ignore?
fucks sake man open your eyes. They're people too.
China stands out among its Asian neighbors in terms of advancements in rights, beaten only by Japan and South Korea. Trust me, Taiwan and Singapore mistreat their predominantly Chinese populations FAR FAR MORE.
There are many worse cases of human rights/neglects in Asia (i.e. the caste system is not official, but still tacitly practiced in India) that deserve more attention than what goes on in China.
Tibet - I said I support its independence. But the steps being taken right now show that the world isn't actually caring about Tibet. You want an effective means of persuasion? Use economic sanctions - it did help South Africa end segregation after all. That means halt trade, pull out branch plants, do something that HURTS. Trying to put out Olympic torches and throwing shoes is only going to make them laugh. Do something that actually hurts. Hell, send delegates to negotiate, no one's going to kill them.
Pollution and the recent milk scandal =/= government's fault. The people did it to one another.
e.g. what's the point of "freedom of information" in Taiwan (something mainland China needs to work on) if people suffer too much to benefit from it? Get priorities straight.
you may think the chinese think people are "expendable and exploitable" - did you come to the 21st century in a time machine from 20+ years ago?
1. when there was an earthquake, there was a government-sponsored effort, very expensive and potentially dangerous, to save the victims and gie them shelter.
2. Chinese military has not fired a shot at any other nation since the PRC formation. IMO, invading another nation = expending and exploiting your own people (soldiers) and the people of the other nation.
3. Laws galore, modelled after Singapore's, to reduce pollution.
4. Evil people who tainted food were not ignored - they were detained, tried, and executed/life imprisonment.
5. if you attempt seditious libel online, the worst that can happen is that your post is deleted (whereas in other places you can be arrested or killed)
6. Laborers paid higher than the imported labor used in much of Asia, also given better working conditions.
7. Sweatshops are illegal now
8. electric train system being built for the benefit of the people and the air.
9. zero conscription.
10. Hong Kong and Macau were allowed to maintain their internal affairs more or less post-transfer.
I thought the Iraqi shoe-throwing was wrong, but at least he had a reason - the U.S. invasion killed his fellow people, god forbid his own friends and family. Here, the Chinese did nothing to the British, rather it happened the other way round but that's ancient redundant history.
February 3rd, 2009, 06:43 PM
ExAm
Re: Articles Funny Random #1
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Buckshot
China stands out among its Asian neighbors in terms of advancements in rights, beaten only by Japan and South Korea. Trust me, Taiwan and Singapore mistreat their predominantly Chinese populations FAR FAR MORE.
That's like calling a serial killer a saint because he decided to kill two less people than he usually does per year.
February 3rd, 2009, 06:53 PM
Mr Buckshot
Re: Articles Funny Random #1
Quote:
Originally Posted by ExAm
That's like calling a serial killer a saint because he decided to kill two less people than he usually does per year.
Oh looky, look whose country bombed the hell out of Vietnam, parts of Korea, and Iraq, without provocation I might say.
As I said, if you do care about Tibet's well-being, then start getting China where it actually hurts. Standing with a poster or throwing a shoe won't help matters, it just demonstrates your own stupidity. It's like trying to break down a stone wall by throwing individual grains of sand at it. There are many nonviolent means of crippling a nation, and the fact that the Western governments who supposedly "care about Tibet" don't try to take those measures shows that they're just saying and not really caring.
Electronic Arts posted a $641 million net loss for its most recent quarter, compared to a $33 million net loss over the same period a year ago. EA was in the midst of restructuring, so it profited 56 cents per share before the costs of restructuring are factored in to the accounting.
Revenue for the quarter was $1.65 billion, up from $1.5 billion in the previous quarter but below analyst estimates of $1.9 billion.
The company will cut staff at all levels, according to EA execs, including "managers, directors, VPs and above" and put a freeze on raises. Around 1,100 jobs will be lost, around 11% of its work force. It will also cut 30% of its SKUS in 2010, expecting to publish 50 titles across 125 SKUS. The company published 145 SKUs in fiscal 2009.
It announced delays to upcoming marquee titles The Sims 3 and Dragon Age: Origins alongside its quarterly earnings results and that the portfolio of EA franchises will be narrowed due to the revenue shortfall and ongoing restructuring.
EA's total take for the holiday quarter was $1.74 billion, which was driven by sales of games like FIFA 09 , Rock Band 2 , Need for Speed Undercover , Rock Band , Left 4 Dead , Dead Space , Madden NFL 09 , Littlest Pet Shop , NBA Live 09 and Mirror’s Edge .
Electronic Arts posted a $641 million net loss for its most recent quarter, compared to a $33 million net loss over the same period a year ago. EA was in the midst of restructuring, so it profited 56 cents per share before the costs of restructuring are factored in to the accounting.
Revenue for the quarter was $1.65 billion, up from $1.5 billion in the previous quarter but below analyst estimates of $1.9 billion.
The company will cut staff at all levels, according to EA execs, including "managers, directors, VPs and above" and put a freeze on raises. Around 1,100 jobs will be lost, around 11% of its work force. It will also cut 30% of its SKUS in 2010, expecting to publish 50 titles across 125 SKUS. The company published 145 SKUs in fiscal 2009.
It announced delays to upcoming marquee titles The Sims 3 and Dragon Age: Origins alongside its quarterly earnings results and that the portfolio of EA franchises will be narrowed due to the revenue shortfall and ongoing restructuring.
EA's total take for the holiday quarter was $1.74 billion, which was driven by sales of games like FIFA 09 , Rock Band 2 , Need for Speed Undercover , Rock Band , Left 4 Dead , Dead Space , Madden NFL 09 , Littlest Pet Shop , NBA Live 09 and Mirror’s Edge .
Neighborhood Hazard
(or: Why the Cops Won’t Patrol Brice Street)
I never dreamed slowly cruising through a residential neighborhood could be so incredibly dangerous!
Studies have shown that motorcycling requires more decisions per second, and more sheer data processing than nearly any other common activity or sport. The reactions and accurate decision making abilities needed have been likened to the reactions of fighter pilots! The consequences of bad decisions or poor situational awareness are pretty much the same for both groups too.
Occasionally, as a rider I have caught myself starting to make bad or late decisions while riding. In flight training, my instructors called this being “behind the power curve”. It is a mark of experience that when this begins to happen, the rider recognizes the situation, and more importantly, does something about it. A short break, a meal, or even a gas stop can set things right again as it gives the brain a chance to catch up.
Good, accurate, and timely decisions are essential when riding a motorcycle…at least if you want to remain among the living. In short, the brain needs to keep up with the machine.
I had been banging around the roads of east Texas and as I headed back into Dallas, found myself in very heavy, high-speed traffic on the freeways. Normally, this is not a problem, I commute in these conditions daily, but suddenly I was nearly run down by a cage that decided it needed my lane more than I did. This is not normally a big deal either, as it happens around here often, but usually I can accurately predict which drivers are not paying attention and avoid them before we are even close. This one I missed seeing until it was nearly too late, and as I took evasive action I nearly broadsided another car that I was not even aware was there!
Two bad decisions and insufficient situational awareness…all within seconds. I was behind the power curve. Time to get off the freeway.
I hit the next exit, and as I was in an area I knew pretty well, headed through a few big residential neighborhoods as a new route home. As I turned onto the nearly empty streets I opened the visor on my full-face helmet to help get some air. I figured some slow riding through the quiet surface streets would give me time to relax, think, and regain that “edge” so frequently required when riding. Little did I suspect…
As I passed an oncoming car, a brown furry missile shot out from under it and tumbled to a stop immediately in front of me. It was a squirrel, and must have been trying to run across the road when it encountered the car. I really was not going very fast, but there was no time to brake or avoid it—it was that close.
I hate to run over animals…and I really hate it on a motorcycle, but a squirrel should pose no danger to me. I barely had time to brace for the impact.
Animal lovers, never fear. Squirrels can take care of themselves!
Inches before impact, the squirrel flipped to his feet. He was standing on his hind legs and facing the oncoming Valkyrie with steadfast resolve in his little beady eyes. His mouth opened, and at the last possible second, he screamed and leapt! I am pretty sure the scream was squirrel for, “Banzai!” or maybe, “Die you gravy-sucking, heathen scum!” as the leap was spectacular and he flew over the windshield and impacted me squarely in the chest.
Instantly he set upon me. If I did not know better I would have sworn he brought twenty of his little buddies along for the attack. Snarling, hissing, and tearing at my clothes, he was a frenzy of activity. As I was dressed only in a light t-shirt, summer riding gloves, and jeans this was a bit of a cause for concern. This furry little tornado was doing some damage!
Picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a t-shirt, and leather gloves puttering maybe 25mph down a quiet residential street…and in the fight of his life with a squirrel. And losing.
I grabbed for him with my left hand and managed to snag his tail. With all my strength I flung the evil rodent off the left of the bike, almost running into the right curb as I recoiled from the throw.
That should have done it. The matter should have ended right there. It really should have. The squirrel could have sailed into one of the pristinely kept yards and gone on about his business, and I could have headed home. No one would have been the wiser.
But this was no ordinary squirrel. This was not even an ordinary pissed-off squirrel.
This was an evil attack squirrel of death!
Somehow he caught my gloved finger with one of his little hands, and with the force of the throw swung around and with a resounding thump and an amazing impact he landed square on my back and resumed his rather anti-social and extremely distracting activities. He also managed to take my left glove with him!
The situation was not improved. Not improved at all. His attacks were continuing, and now I could not reach him.
I was startled to say the least. The combination of the force of the throw, only having one hand (the throttle hand) on the handlebars, and my jerking back unfortunately put a healthy twist through my right hand and into the throttle. A healthy twist on the throttle of a Valkyrie can only have one result. Torque. This is what the Valkyrie is made for, and she is very, very good at it.
The engine roared as the front wheel left the pavement. The squirrel screamed in anger. The Valkyrie screamed in ecstasy. I screamed in…well…I just plain screamed.
Now picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a slightly squirrel torn t-shirt, and only one leather glove roaring at maybe 70mph and rapidly accelerating down a quiet residential street…on one wheel and with a demonic squirrel on his back. The man and the squirrel are both screaming bloody murder.
With the sudden acceleration I was forced to put my other hand back on the handlebars and try to get control of the bike. This was leaving the mutant squirrel to his own devices, but I really did not want to crash into somebody’s tree, house, or parked car. Also, I had not yet figured out how to release the throttle…my brain was just simply overloaded. I did manage to mash the back brake, but it had little affect against the massive power of the big cruiser.
About this time the squirrel decided that I was not paying sufficient attention to this very serious battle (maybe he is a Scottish attack squirrel of death), and he came around my neck and got IN my full-face helmet with me. As the faceplate closed partway and he began hissing in my face I am quite sure my screaming changed tone and intensity. It seemed to have little affect on the squirrel however.
The rpm’s on The Dragon maxed out (I was not concerned about shifting at the moment) and her front end started to drop.
Now picture the large man on the huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a very ragged torn t-shirt, and wearing one leather glove, roaring at probably 80mph, still on one wheel, with a large puffy squirrel’s tail sticking out his mostly closed full-face helmet. By now the screams are probably getting a little hoarse.
Finally I got the upper hand…I managed to grab his tail again, pulled him out of my helmet, and slung him to the left as hard as I could. This time it worked…sort-of. Spectacularly sort-of, so to speak.
Picture the scene. You are a cop. You and your partner have pulled off on a quiet residential street and parked with your windows down to do some paperwork.
Suddenly a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a torn t-shirt flapping in the breeze, and wearing one leather glove, moving at probably 80mph on one wheel, and screaming bloody murder roars by and with all his strength throws a live squirrel grenade directly into your police car.
I heard screams. They weren't mine...
I managed to get the big motorcycle under directional control and dropped the front wheel to the ground. I then used maximum braking and skidded to a stop in a cloud of tire smoke at the stop sign at a busy cross street.
I would have returned to fess up (and to get my glove back). I really would have. Really. But for two things. First, the cops did not seem interested or the slightest bit concerned about me at the moment. One of them was on his back in the front yard of the house they had been parked in front of and was rapidly crabbing backwards away from the patrol car. The other was standing in the street and was training a riot shotgun on the police cruiser.
So the cops were not interested in me. They often insist to “let the professionals handle it” anyway. That was one thing. The other? Well, I swear I could see the squirrel, standing in the back window of the patrol car among shredded and flying pieces of foam and upholstery, and shaking his little fist at me. I think he was shooting me the finger…
That is one dangerous squirrel. And now he has a patrol car…
I took a deep breath, turned on my turn-signal, made an easy right turn, and sedately left the neighborhood.
As for my easy and slow drive home? Screw it. Faced with a choice of 80mph cars and inattentive drivers, or the evil, demonic, attack squirrel of death...I’ll take my chances with the freeway. Every time.
And I’ll buy myself a new pair of gloves.
This one had me lollin' for extended periods of time :lmao:
February 4th, 2009, 05:08 AM
Bodzilla
Re: Articles Funny Random #1
FUCKING LOL
February 4th, 2009, 04:22 PM
DarkHalo003
Re: Articles Funny Random #1
It just called for it:
:lmao:
February 4th, 2009, 06:29 PM
Heathen
Re: Articles Funny Random #1
Quote:
Originally Posted by TeeKup
Oh god that reporter has started a trend. I expect shoe wars soon.
When the bush shoe was thrown, why didn't they have ten and a half secret service guys jump at the guy and jumping at the shoe to check for grenades or something?
Also, what the hell did that have to do with anything dark?
Microsoft founder turned philanthropist Bill Gates released a glass full of mosquitoes at an elite technology conference to make a point about the deadly disease malaria.
"Malaria is spread by mosquitoes," Gates said while opening a jar onstage at the Technology, Entertainment, Design Conference — a gathering known to attract technology kings, politicians, and Hollywood stars.
"I brought some. Here I'll let them roam around. There is no reason only poor people should be infected."
First reported on social networking site Twitter, Facebook's Senior Platform Manager Dave Morin blogged, "Bill Gates just released mosquitos into the audience at TED."
Gates then waited a minute or so before assuring the audience the freed insects were malaria-free.
The unusual presentation on malaria prevention was confirmed by the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation's media office. A spokesman said the insects released were not carrying malaria.
Gates retired as head of Microsoft last year to focus more on his foundation. One of its key projects is ending malaria and it has spent millions on fighting the disease.
The philanthropist has been pushing to reduce malaria deaths through the nonprofit. In September, Gates announced that the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation would provide $168.7 million to the PATH Malaria Vaccine Initiative to help develop a vaccine for the deadly disease.
:lmao:
February 5th, 2009, 03:38 PM
Syuusuke
Re: Articles Funny Random #1
Just because they don't have malaria doesn't mean they have...something else =D
It's still down there. It just goes the other direction. (That's how they do it, btw)
I thought that they had the choice of removing it?
February 8th, 2009, 11:04 AM
klange
Re: Articles Funny Random #1
Quote:
Originally Posted by ICEE
I thought that they had the choice of removing it?
They turn it inside out and make it into a pseud-v-jay. That's how sex change operations work.
February 8th, 2009, 11:38 AM
ICEE
Re: Articles Funny Random #1
ah. gross.
February 8th, 2009, 12:05 PM
Rentafence
Re: Articles Funny Random #1
Now what happens when I'm about to go at it and see an inside out penis? :gonk:
February 8th, 2009, 12:17 PM
Hotrod
Re: Articles Funny Random #1
There's just something about her/his eyes that kind of give it away though. If you just look at them, they're not quite right. Personally, I find that a girl's eyes are usually softer-looking, and a guy's are more rough, if you get what I mean.
February 8th, 2009, 04:07 PM
n00b1n8R
Re: Articles Funny Random #1
But the real question:
Would teek tap that?
February 8th, 2009, 04:08 PM
TeeKup
Re: Articles Funny Random #1
NO.
February 8th, 2009, 04:25 PM
Heathen
Re: Articles Funny Random #1
Well technically they slit it down the bottom of it and pull it down and inside. Then they attach the skin to the body. THEN they plug hair and blablabla.
Here's a sad one: the Google Maps car took out a baby deer, and it recorded the entire process for all Google Maps users to see. For shame, Google Maps car! As you follow the street view scene down Five Points Road in Rush, NY, you can see the deer run out in front of the car, get hit and then see it on the side of the road before the car pulls over. And that's the end of the Street View data for Five Points Road. Google Maps is recording real life, guys. And yes, the Five Points joke kind of writes itself, doesn't it?
I’m not quite comedically inept enough to make Polack jokes, but if I was, I would apologize for every single one right now. Recently, the Polish have rallied around a cause: To have a memorial built in Great Britain that honors one of their most beloved war heroes, a soldier simply known as “Voytek.” He was a hard-drinking, hard-smoking, hard-fighting son-of-a-bitch who won his valor in the battle of Monte Cassino, one of the bloodiest conflicts of WWII. Voytek stood about 6’5 tall, and weighed in around 600lbs, which wo-wait, 600 pounds?! Either this Polish war-hero was also undisputed King of the Fatties, or he’s some sort of fucking bear.
Voytek was an Iranian Honey Bear, as well as a credited, ranked, and official member of the Second Polish Transport Company. He was found in the hills of Iran when the company, upon seeing a malnourished, starving bear cub, not only found the heart to nurse him back to health but then, eventually finding themselves with a full-grown, loyal, trained bear and a shitload of Nazis to fight, did the perfectly logical thing and decided to enlist him. I would normally comment here about the sheer insanity of the era's military for allowing a bear into the armed forces, but honestly? It makes perfect sense.
The Nazis knew all about the power of image, (their emblems and uniforms stand to this day as the epitome of tyranny and evil,) so when it came time to fight fire with fire, what better way to counter the powerful symbolism of the Axis, than a god damn drunken bear in an Allied uniform? If, upon leaping into the trenches prepared for a brutal hand to hand fight, a Nazi soldier found it filled with bloodthirsty bears slamming whiskey - their immense paws filled with gargantuan artillery shells - you can safely count that soldier out of the rest of war. Even if he survives, he’s not fighting again.
“Sir, I’ve seen the enemy gunners. They’re bears!”
“You mean they fight like mighty bears!? My God!”
“No, sir! They’re literally fucking bears! I just went crazy as hell! I’m going home!”
On duty, Voytek was trained to carry cases of ammunition and mortar shells down the line to waiting artillery, each one weighing hundreds of pounds. On one occasion, he wandered into an empty shower stall and surprised an Arabic spy who had been listening in on top secret information. The spy quickly surrendered and immediately confessed to all of his crimes, probably because he was smart enough to realize that any military unit possessing Anti-Espionage Bears are likely going to be on the winning side of the war.
When off duty, Voytek enjoyed the same luxuries as any other WWII era soldier. He drank cases of beer, smoked cases of cigarettes, and loved to wrestle with his fellow troops - a fact which leaves me in somewhat of a quandary: Who was more badass, the Nazi-fighting bear who wrestled full platoons of trained soldiers, or the men who routinely got body-slammed by him for shits ‘n giggles?
Voytek was so fearless in battle, and so beloved out of it, that the Second Polish Transport Company officially changed their insignia to this:
All military insignia are pretty uniformly badass. Their imagery is rife with skulls, guns, bombs, and lightning bolts; but all that shit’s got nothing on this simple, modest, and entirely accurate depiction of what appears to be a grizzly bear with bullets for fists.
After the war, Voytek retired to the Edinburgh zoo, and the rest of his company settled in the area around him. They visited him frequently, tossing him cigarettes and beer over the fence, and occasionally jumping the barricades to wrestle with him again. He lived to a relatively old age, eventually dying of natural causes, and I’m sure that he’s up there somewhere right now, drinking a case of whiskey, smoking a cigar, and eating Nazis in heaven.
:awesome:
February 23rd, 2009, 04:38 PM
klange
Re: Articles Funny Random #1
That is one awesome bear.
February 23rd, 2009, 04:45 PM
Agnaiel
Re: Articles Funny Random #1
All I could think about while I was reading that was "Bear Cavalry."
BRADENTON, FL. - A 19-year-old man is arrested after stealing a laptop computer so he could check his Facebook page online.
According to the Manatee County Sheriff's Office, at around 4:45 Gary Lyman was inside Starbucks on the 5500 block of Factory Shops Blvd.
Lyman was using his laptop computer when 19-year-old Corey Kinney approached him and asked if he could use his computer.
Kinney told Lyman that he wanted to access his Facebook internet website. Lyman told Kinney he was busy and he would not let him use his computer. Kenney then turned away as if he was going to leave, then suddenly turned back around and grabbed Lyman's laptop computer. Kenney then ran out of the business with the laptop.
Lyman took chase and followed Kinney to the parking lot where two unknown bystanders saw Lyman chasing Kinney. The two bystanders tackled Kinney in the parking lot and held him until the Ellenton Mall Security Guard arrived.
Lyman was given his laptop back valued at $4,000.00.
While Kinney was being transport to the Port Manatee Jail, Kinney told the Deputy he just wanted to do a crime that did not hurt anyone. He said he couldn't find work and needed money to get back to Texas. He also said he knew people had computers while at Starbucks and it would be easy to grab one.
Kinney was charged with Robbery By Sudden Snatching.
A hairdresser from the small Russian town of Meshchovsk has subdued a man who tried to rob her shop, and then raped him for three days in the utility room, Life.ru reports.
The incident occurred on Saturday, March 14. The working day was coming to an end at a small hairdressers, when a man armed with a gun rushed in and demanded the day’s earnings.
The frightened employees and customers agreed to fulfill his demand, but when the shop’s owner, 28-year-old Olga, was handing the money to the robber, she suddenly knocked him down on the floor and then tied him up with a hairdryer cord. The 32-year-old Viktor couldn’t have known that the woman was a yellow belt in karate.
Olga locked the unlucky robber in the utility room and told her colleagues that she was going to call the police – but didn’t do so. When everybody left home, she approached the man and ordered him to ‘take of his underpants’ threatening to hand him over to the police if he refuses to cooperate.
This isn't quite an article, but I think it fits close to the category. It's a business letter I made for my LA class, and it's funny as hell.
Quote:
326 Ash Boulevard
Florence, AZ 85310
April 30, 2009
Dr. Octa Gonapus
Chargin The Lazer Department Chair
St. Firin College
1234 Lazer Street
Tucson, AZ 82351
Dear Dr. Gonapus:
In response to the ad I saw and acquired from your college, I am applying for a position on the staff of the Lazer News. I have enclosed many recommendations from Shoop Da Woops as well as some articles I have written for my high school newspaper, Chargers Anonymous.
I have been the head on the staff of the Chargers Anonymous for four years. I have always enjoyed writing, and this year I hope to major in writing at St. Firin College. I am very creative, well organized, and have yet to miss a paper's deadline. In addition to writing, I can also do editing and layout work.
If you would like more information, please let my know by calling 623-867-5309 anytime during the day or by e-mailing me at <immacharginmuhlazor@hotmail.com>. Thank you very much for reading and considering my application. I hope to and look forward to hearing from you.
Given the freewheeling exchanges that characterize everything from SMS text messages and instant messaging to blogs and Web site comments, the broadly written bill potentially could turn a lot of flamers and bloggers into felons.
Congress has no interest in censoring speech and it will not do so if it passes this bill. Put simply, this legislation would be used as a tool for a judge and jury to determine whether there is significant evidence to prove that a person “cyberbullied” another… So — bloggers, emailers, texters, spiteful exes, and those who have blogged against this bill have no fear — your words are still protected under the same American values.
While Rep. Sanchez’s assurances may be comforting, judges tend to follow the wording of a law rather than its sponsor’s intent. So before you text your cheating ex, slam those Apple forum fanboys, or call me a ‘moron’ in the comments, consider the possible consequences of this new bill, or at least put your lawyer’s number on speed dial.
I was appalled by the very idea of the bill until i read this post.
May 12th, 2009, 06:14 PM
ultama121
Re: Articles Funny Random #1
Lol. Biggest newfags ever= U.S. Congress.
May 13th, 2009, 12:49 AM
n00b1n8R
Re: Articles Funny Random #1
Turns out yelling at my screen makes me feel better.
SHIT THESE FUCKING MORON CUNTS BACKSEAT MODERATING MY INTERNET FUCKING FAGGOTS
I've never verbally raged at anything IRL that I saw on the net before :ohdear:
May 13th, 2009, 07:59 AM
LlamaMaster
Re: Articles Funny Random #1
Quote:
Originally Posted by n00b1n8R
Turns out yelling at my screen makes me feel better.
SHIT THESE FUCKING MORON CUNTS BACKSEAT MODERATING MY INTERNET FUCKING FAGGOTS
I've never verbally raged at anything IRL that I saw on the net before :ohdear:
Really? I flick off my TV every day. The unbelievable bullshit that unfolds before me is too intense not to take some form of physical action. Same goes for interwebs. (although MUCH less often)
May 14th, 2009, 12:01 AM
Con
Re: Articles Funny Random #1
On a scale on 1 to serious, this is a 2. These bills never get anywhere, and even if it does it'll be as the guy described. It's not like they're going to hunt people down for calling each other gay over the internets. It's a tool is all.
