There are still far too many unecessary details everywhere, and I can't even make out what's going on around the center, though the overall shape seems decent enough.

If you want to see a very non-greeble weapon that still looks like a gun, I suggest having a look at the famas, the scar.. or better yet, the XM8

then again I'm no gun nerd. I couldn't point you in the direction of simple, yet effective guns.