Ok so I am 19, and I broke up with my girlfriend about a month ago and it hit me hard, I beated up her new boyfriend and threatened to kill him if he did anything with her.
I also have this other issue, the girls I like are under my age, my friends call me a peado sometimes jokingly cos I like girls that are 14/15, although my ex was 16. I don't know why i think its just cos they are cute and immature and I like that in girls, and the older ones are all serious and dont know how to have a laugh.
Anyway with my ex, I waited until she was 16 until we had sex, but since we broke up I started being bad and talking to a 14 year old over bebo/msn/phone. THE BAD THING WAS, I said I was only 15.
Well was 15 last week actually, but on Saturday we had arranged to meet up, and because I hadn't been with a girl in a month, I totally forgot how to act around her so I took some pills before I got the train uip to where we were meeting.
Anyway I was really high and she came on her own, she was meant to be with her friend but she said that she wasn't available. So we sat in the park and I took her to pizza hut, and after talking for 4/5 hours I asked her if she wanted to come back to mine to wtach a film as it was pretty cold, mine is only 20 min train ride, but by this time it was about 6 and she had to be in at 9 so she rang her mum and told her that she was sleeping at her other friends.
Anyway we started watching some chick flick she wanted to watch, mean girls or soemthing, and she started laughing and kept grabbing me, anyway by this time I was really horny as I hadnt had any in a month, so I leaned over to her and gave her a kiss, she looked suprised but kissed me back anyway after a little while she asked where my toilet was, and I only live in a little flat so it was just around the corner.
It had been about 10 mins and I had wondered where she'd gone, so I went and looked to find her with my radio on jumping up and down on my bed, I started laugghing at her until she noticed and quickly lay down on my bed.
I went and lay next to her, and well one thing led to another, before I knew it I had my hands down her pants.
Anyway as things went on, I told her I wanted to shag her.
She said but Im a virgin, and I lied again and told her I was too.
She didnt seem to sure, so I told her, she would only be a real girl if she had sex with me.
So we did it, and it hurt her so much, she started crying, but I couldnt stop I just kept banging her.
Anyway she went home that night, on the train to her friends and I heard from her yesterday saying "never talk to me again, your evil"
And I am evil, I cant believe what I did.
Should I tell someone or check if she is OK.
Because I just want to kill myself at the moment.
Originally Posted by Heathen
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