that is beautiful.
that is beautiful.
.[19:08] Ollie: Ok
[19:08] Ollie: This is why I like digg's comments once in awhile
[19:08] Ollie: The article being discussed was "A First: String Theory Predicts an Experimental Result"
[19:08] Ollie: and some guy says
[19:08] Ollie: "But can the String Theory predict why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch?"
E: I'm sorry, I have to selfquote this
[19:11] imod53: Okay
[19:11] Ollie: I'm glad I don't play TF2 anymore
[19:11] imod53: this probably sounds a lot better in my head
[19:11] Ollie: they're totally fucking up the balance
[19:11] Ollie: hmm?
[19:11] Ollie: you first
[19:11] imod53: i'm imagining
[19:12] imod53: a bunch of kids going up to a guy on the street
[19:12] imod53: one of them is holding a box of cinnamon toast crunch
[19:12] imod53: another is holding a bowl
[19:12] imod53: or rather, a tray with a bowl of it on it, with a glass of orange juice
[19:12] imod53: so
[19:12] Ollie: I like where this is going
[19:12] imod53: they all walk up to him
[19:12] imod53: and they're like
[19:13] imod53: "Sir! Sir! Can you see why us kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch!?"
[19:13] imod53: and he says
[19:13] imod53: "Why, it's the swirls of cinnamon sugar in every bite!"
[19:13] imod53: and then
[19:13] imod53: total silence
[19:13] imod53: a child begins crying
[19:14] Ollie: hahahaha
Last edited by ExAm; February 17th, 2009 at 09:16 PM.
Scary thing is...we're not drugged up at all.JeanLuc 761 (9:03:47 PM): would be funnier than hell though
JeanLuc 761 (9:03:53 PM): see a scorpion fucking floating in midair
JeanLuc 761 (9:03:54 PM): lol
"Snafubar" (9:04:05 PM): yeah
"Snafubar" (9:04:05 PM): lol
JeanLuc 761 (9:04:20 PM): pity we didn't have any in connecticut
"Snafubar" (9:04:24 PM): heh, ut2k4 mod released for halooooo
JeanLuc 761 (9:04:24 PM): would have been a neat school prank
JeanLuc 761 (9:04:31 PM): =p
JeanLuc 761 (9:04:38 PM): Granted, I would have been arrested, but still
"Snafubar" (9:04:40 PM): oh yes floating venomous animals ho hum
JeanLuc 761 (9:04:43 PM): lol
"Snafubar" (9:04:46 PM): lol
JeanLuc 761 (9:04:52 PM): if I was going to do that though?
JeanLuc 761 (9:04:56 PM): I wouldn't take a little scorpion
JeanLuc 761 (9:05:05 PM): I'd attach a copperhead and have some fun
"Snafubar" (9:05:21 PM): goddam you are insane
JeanLuc 761 (9:05:28 PM): Sometimes
JeanLuc 761 (9:05:29 PM): It's fun!
JeanLuc 761 (9:05:38 PM): Like you don't have YOUR insane thoughts, pfft
"Snafubar" (9:05:48 PM): how about enough baloons to float a dead cat around face level?
JeanLuc 761 (9:05:53 PM): o_o
JeanLuc 761 (9:05:57 PM): You call me insane then you say that shit?
JeanLuc 761 (9:05:59 PM): fuck dude
"Snafubar" (9:06:17 PM): or a roadkill opossum?
JeanLuc 761 (9:06:20 PM): D:
"Snafubar" (9:06:22 PM): by it's TAIL
JeanLuc 761 (9:06:25 PM): o_o
"Snafubar" (9:06:32 PM): snarling
JeanLuc 761 (9:06:35 PM): Taht's it
JeanLuc 761 (9:06:39 PM): I'm not the insane one here
"Snafubar" (9:06:40 PM): like LOOK AT ME BITCH I'M DEAD
"Snafubar" (9:06:46 PM): RAWR
"Snafubar" (9:07:12 PM): you know that shit was hillarious
JeanLuc 761 (9:07:28 PM): And then I looked at the possum, and realized it had bear feet. The possum was a bear. Realizing my error, I ran hard, but it caught up with me and beat the fuck out of me.
JeanLuc 761 (9:07:38 PM): Yes, I absolutely had to fucking do that
"Snafubar" (9:07:47 PM): hamburgers
JeanLuc 761 (9:07:56 PM): bearburgers, what?
JeanLuc 761 (9:07:57 PM): lol
"Snafubar" (9:08:06 PM): lol
"Snafubar" (9:08:13 PM): but it was a jackal
"Snafubar" (9:08:16 PM): with a tophat
JeanLuc 761 (9:08:18 PM): o_o
JeanLuc 761 (9:08:27 PM): British scum!
"Snafubar" (9:08:31 PM): doing meatspin
JeanLuc 761 (9:08:37 PM): WHY!?
JeanLuc 761 (9:08:44 PM): *HORRIBLEMENTALIMAGE*
"Snafubar" (9:08:53 PM): ooohhh my god
JeanLuc 761 (9:08:53 PM): I hate you so much
"Snafubar" (9:08:57 PM): i fucking literally lol'd
"Snafubar" (9:09:03 PM): i can't breathe
JeanLuc 761 (9:09:13 PM): Neither can I, but for a whole different reason
JeanLuc 761 (9:09:17 PM): Oh GOD I hate you for that
"Snafubar" (9:09:43 PM): oh fuck i can't stop laughing
JeanLuc 761 (9:10:02 PM): breathe you cunt -_-
XD
.[21:47] Ollie: btw
[21:48] Ollie: I was telling one of my other friends earlier today
[21:48] Ollie: I got into an argument this morning with a woman who, without fail, tries to give me religious pamphlets at the bus stop twice a week
[21:48] Ollie: And I developed the ultimate flowchart for defeating Christianity as a belief system.
[21:49] Ollie: (7:27:17 PM) Ollie: 1. Do you believe that one is saved by good deeds or through faith?
(7:27:27 PM) Ollie: If they say good deeds, there's no point in converting.
(7:27:32 PM) Ollie: So they have to say faith
(7:27:35 PM) Ollie: Then you ask
(7:28:34 PM) Ollie: 2. So if faith is the way to be saved, what of people who have never heard of God? People in native cultures in remote parts of the world, for example. If they live good lives but never hear of God, are they doomed to hell?
(7:28:48 PM) Ollie: If they say yes, then frankly that's not a God I would ever want to worship.
(7:28:58 PM) Ollie: And if they say no, you move onto this:
(7:30:27 PM) Ollie: 3. So if someone who is living a good life is taught about God, but has trouble accepting the idea because they need proof to believe in something, the act of teaching them about God has doomed them to hell. So why teach about God? Why not just teach a code of ethics, if your goal is to save souls?
[21:51] Ollie: That's about the point when they get all pissy and storm away saying I just don't understand
[21:51] Ollie: And then I light a cigarette and hum the Final Fantasy battle victory tune to myself
E:
[01:29] dano555666: so my autistic twin just said to me
[01:29] dano555666: you went inot the past in a time machine nad took your own virginity
[01:29] dano555666: so i thought for a moment
[01:29] dano555666: and i whooped out:
[01:30] dano555666: "yeah well you went inot the future and took yours"
[01:30] dano555666: HAY FAYVE
[01:30] imod53: :V
[01:30] imod53: idqgi
[01:30] dano555666: as in
[01:30] dano555666: his virginity hasnt happened yet
[01:30] dano555666: as in future
[01:30] dano555666: as in he aint get no laid
[01:31] imod53: are you drunk
[01:31] dano555666: no
[01:31] dano555666: it makes perfect sense
[01:31] dano555666: my virginity breaking was inthe past
[01:31] dano555666: yet his hasnt happened yet
[01:31] dano555666: so its in hte future
[01:31] imod53: so basically you're attempting to burn him by saying that he's a virgin
[01:31] dano555666: so he aint got no laid
[01:31] dano555666: yus sir
[01:31] imod53: oh
[01:31] imod53: i thought it'd be something funnier
[01:32] dano555666: -_-
[01:32] imod53: i thought
[01:32] dano555666: weaj
[01:32] dano555666: weaj
[01:32] dano555666: weaj
[01:32] dano555666: weak*
[01:32] imod53: "dane can't possibly make a joke that lame, can he? I'll just say i don't get it"
[01:32] imod53: let me rephrase my earlier question
[01:32] imod53: are you HIGH?
[01:32] dano555666: rofl
[01:32] dano555666: hey i thought it was witty
[01:32] dano555666: :<
[01:33] dano555666: i AINT NO GOTSA GO DUNNOWHERES
[01:34] dano555666: VWAT
[01:34] dano555666: THERES DEER IN THE FRIDGEBASKET?
Last edited by ExAm; February 18th, 2009 at 03:35 AM.
Just had to repost this:
SOURCE
epic.br0kenrabbit: hi
Greg_ValveOLS: good evening
br0kenrabbit: What's ip?
br0kenrabbit: up?
Greg_ValveOLS: my name is greg a member of the valve online Support team
br0kenrabbit: On MSN?
Greg_ValveOLS: yes
br0kenrabbit: Why?
Greg_ValveOLS: we logged multiple ips from your account and ned to verifi your information
br0kenrabbit: My information?
Greg_ValveOLS: we believe someone may have stolen your account mmmm you havent shared youre account infomation with anyone have you?
br0kenrabbit: No. I don't even have it written down.
Greg_ValveOLS: hmmm maybe a keylogger on you r PC then maybe you need a format?
br0kenrabbit: Well...
Greg_ValveOLS: if you can verify your account information to me i can insure that only your ip have access to it Its a new security feature were trying because this happens so muchlogin names and passwords aint safe anymroe You know.
br0kenrabbit: Well
Greg_ValveOLS: dont worry this connect it secure
br0kenrabbit: Can I be honest with you, Greg?
Greg_ValveOLS: k
br0kenrabbit: Look, I don't know how you go this MSN account name, don't really care, either.
br0kenrabbit: Unlike you, I DO work for Valve. Trace my ip and you'll see.
Greg_ValveOLS: huh?
Greg_ValveOLS: bs
br0kenrabbit: Trace it.
Greg_ValveOLS: how
br0kenrabbit: Start/run/cmd type Tracert and then my IP address and hit enter.
Greg_ValveOLS: oh k
br0kenrabbit: As an employee, I know that Valve employees will NEVER contact users over MSN. I also know a valve employee will NEVER ask a user for his/her username and password.
br0kenrabbit: I'm putting a temporary hold on your Steam account.
Greg_ValveOLS: why?
br0kenrabbit: Have you read the ToS?
Greg_ValveOLS: Tod?
Greg_ValveOLS: tos
br0kenrabbit: terms of service
Greg_ValveOLS: were?
br0kenrabbit: Greg, this is a serious infraction against the Tos. You are at risk of losing your account.
Greg_ValveOLS: why
br0kenrabbit: I just told you why
Greg_ValveOLS:
br0kenrabbit: I need some information from you if you want me to unlock you account. I'm going to write you up but I will only suspend you account for three days, since this is your first infraction, okay?
Greg_ValveOLS: k
br0kenrabbit: First, what is the name the account is registered to. Not the user name, the persons real name who created the account. This is for verification purposes.
Greg_ValveOLS: xxxxx xxxxxxx
br0kenrabbit: Is this you?
Greg_ValveOLS: ya
br0kenrabbit: Are you the only user of this account?
Greg_ValveOLS: ya
br0kenrabbit: Okay, and what is the username
Greg_ValveOLS: xxxxxxxx
br0kenrabbit: Okay.
br0kenrabbit: I see you have purchased a few of our games, thank you.
Greg_ValveOLS: some. dude
br0kenrabbit: Do you always log on from the same IP?
Greg_ValveOLS: ya
br0kenrabbit: And who is your internet providers, your ISP?
Greg_ValveOLS: xxxxxxx
br0kenrabbit: Thank you. One moment, please, let me verify this information.
Greg_ValveOLS: am i gonna be bale to play 2nite?
br0kenrabbit: What is your city of residence?
br0kenrabbit: That depends on if you cooperate. You're doing fine so far.
Greg_ValveOLS: xxxxxx
br0kenrabbit: Illinios?
Greg_ValveOLS: yes
br0kenrabbit: Okay. And what is the password associated with this account?
Greg_ValveOLS: xxxxxxx
br0kenrabbit: Okay. Do not try to log into steam. If you are connected now you need to log off.
Greg_ValveOLS: why
br0kenrabbit: So I can update your account.
Greg_ValveOLS: can I play 2 nite
Greg_ValveOLS: clan fight
Greg_ValveOLS: wont win without me heh
br0kenrabbit: Heh. You'll have to wait a few minutes. Are you logged off?
Greg_ValveOLS: ya
br0kenrabbit: Okay. Give me just a moment.
br0kenrabbit: Try to log in now.
Greg_ValveOLS: k
Greg_ValveOLS: It says login failed wtf wtf!!@?
br0kenrabbit: Greg
Greg_ValveOLS: did u ban me???????????>WHY
br0kenrabbit: Greg
Greg_ValveOLS: what
br0kenrabbit: Valve will never ask for your username and password.
Greg_ValveOLS: what????
br0kenrabbit: I don't work for Valve dude, but you just got pwnt.
Greg_ValveOLS: omg dude wtf why?
br0kenrabbit: Why were you trying to steal my account?
Greg_ValveOLS: i wanst
br0kenrabbit: Then why were you asking for my information?
Greg_ValveOLS: i was just making a joke but not cerious honest dude just give
my acount back pllllleeease i'm only 13 and save d up for like a year to buy it
br0kenrabbit: Greg
Greg_ValveOLS: dude pleas
Greg_ValveOLS: what
br0kenrabbit: Go mow some yards, bitch.
I dug that up a few weeks ago too.
An epic win if ever I saw one.
From the same site:
Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately known as "cybersex." Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through Internet phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see below, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of an online chat doesn't seem to quite get the point of cybersex.
Then again, maybe he does...
Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?
Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner ... it smells funny.
Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?
Wellhung: OK
Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table.I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.
Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.
Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling.
Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.
Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.
Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk slides off my warm skin. I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.
Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse. I'm sorry.
Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.
Wellhung: I'll pay for it.
Sweetheart: Don't worry about it. I'm wearing a lacy black bra.My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.
Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra. I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?
Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly. I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.
Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.
Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.
Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!
Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.
Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.
Sweetheart: What?
Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.
Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.
Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.
Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.
Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.
Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you ... umm ... wait a minute.
Sweetheart: What's the matter?
Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.
Sweetheart: Are you OK?
Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit.
Sweetheart: Can I help?
Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?
Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.
Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.
Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.
Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.
Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.
Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?
Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.
Wellhung: I found it.
Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.
Wellhung: Me too.
Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately-our naked bodies pressing each other.
Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.
Sweetheart: Why don't you take off your glasses?
Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.
Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!
Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.
Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.
Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.
Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.
Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!
Sweetheart: What's the matter now?
Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.
Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.
Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ... thing ... in your ... you know ... woman's thing.
Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!
Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.
Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!
Wellhung: I'm flaccid.
Sweetheart: What?
Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.
Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.
Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.
Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.
Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles.
Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.
Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.
Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!
Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!
Sweetheart: (Disconnect)
I'm so doing that the next time someone does something along those lines. Not even kidding.Originally Posted by n00b1n8R
I dug that up a few weeks ago too.
An epic win if ever I saw one.
Jules: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa... stop right there. Eatin' a bitch out, and givin' a bitch a foot massage ain't even the same fuckin' thing.
Vincent: It's not. It's the same ballpark.
Jules: Ain't no fuckin' ballpark neither. Now look, maybe your method of massage differs from mine, but, you know, touchin' his wife's feet, and stickin' your tongue in her Holiest of Holies, ain't the same fuckin' ballpark, it ain't the same league, it ain't even the same fuckin' sport. Look, foot massages don't mean shit.
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