Quotes Funny Random

[rossmum]

editing is for big gay babbies

iAtty (3:04:29 PM): how do you tell if an atty spilled water on his lap or came/
teh rossmum (3:04:32 PM): pretending your problems are someone else's won't help you.
iAtty (3:04:54 PM): HOW DO YOU TELL
teh rossmum (3:05:31 PM): you don't, it's basically the same thing
iAtty (3:05:36 PM): no
iAtty (3:05:37 PM): time
iAtty (3:05:41 PM): it takes longer for water to spill
iAtty (3:05:46 PM): then it does for an atty to cum

[HDoan]

[14:06] HDoan: Yo homes
[14:06] HDoan: im pregnant
[14:06] Ki11a_FTW™[FBI]: that sucks
[14:06] HDoan: From a black chick
[14:06] HDoan: and by black chick I mean you
[14:06] Ki11a_FTW™[FBI]: :|
[14:07] Ki11a_FTW™[FBI]: srry but im a white male
[14:07] HDoan: thats not that you showed me last night
[14:07] Ki11a_FTW™[FBI]: you damn not forget it either

I didn't know he swung that way.

[Syuusuke]

It's just a long image.

[ExAm]

My job is so fucking unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:
First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breath.
The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career oppertunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.
But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big fucking dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single fucking day.
Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.

.

[Bastinka]

Scooby Doo, man it took me a second to get that reference.

[thehoodedsmack]

Lol. That was good. Didn't clue in until near the end. X3

[Syuusuke]

Who's the guy speaking, I forgot his name.

[rossmum]

Do you roll your own tampons, you barely breathing human douche?

i almost pissed myself

[p0lar_bear]

Who's the guy speaking, I forgot his name.

Fred.

[n00b1n8R]

I feel bad that I didn't pick up on it until the last line.