Quotes Funny Random

[annihilation]

A boy is doing poorly in school and is at risk of failing.
The father see's the boys report card and tells him "Son, if you can get your grades up to an A+ then I will buy you anything that you want."

The boy accepted his challange and brought his grades up.

At the end of the school year the dad honors is promise and asked the boy what he wanted. "A bag of golf balls" the boy said.

The dad wondered why he wanted golf balls but went to go by them anyways.

The next year came and the boy kept up his end of the bargain.
Again the boy asked for golf balls.

The same thing went on for about 7 more years untill the boy turned 18.

The dad takes the boy out for a nice dinner to celebrate graduating from highschool with straight A's.

The father tells the boy "How about this, instead of buying you bags of golf balls I'm going to buy you a new car."
The boy insist upon golf balls and the father insist upon a new car.
"You've been asking for golf balls the past 7 years. Ask for something different."

The boy gets angry and walks out of the resteruant and heads to the car when a truck sped by and hit the boy.

The father rushes out of the resturant and hold the boy in his arms and tells him he loves him dearly and says he is sorry for what he had said.

"I have just one question, son" said the father. What did you want with all those golf balls?

The boy opens his mouth and dies.

[Bodzilla]

idgi unless he's usign them as anal beads or someshit

[Bodzilla]

first thing i've heard from dano since he moved out like 2-3 months ago

dano555666: oi bodie, im at work right now, but i just got sent this very important link, concerning anyone in australia. http://www.public.health.wa.gov.au/c...ointPanvax.pdf skim through that when you have the chance.... no one outside the health department is supposed to see that, so its good to have some info ;l
dano555666: hows shit btw

[ultama121]

That's just depressing... and doesn't make much sense.

@annhilation not bod lol

...but that's pretty too Bod.

[Rob Oplawar]

I think that joke is similar in nature to the one about Purple Majesty (the one whose punch line is "there is no punch line")

[annihilation]

that's the point, he was about to reveal what he was doing with the balls but he died before he could say anything.

[p0lar_bear]

first thing i've heard from dano since he moved out like 2-3 months ago

Just remind him that it's past August and we're still very much alive.

[ExAm]

[00:01] J. Oliver Judd III: you know the one about making the horse in the bar laugh and cry?
[00:01] iMod53: nope
[00:02] J. Oliver Judd III: Guy walks into a bar and sees a jar full of cash on the table
[00:02] J. Oliver Judd III: er
[00:02] J. Oliver Judd III: on the bar
[00:02] J. Oliver Judd III: asks what it's for
[00:02] J. Oliver Judd III: Bartender says if you put in $20, and you can make the horse out back laugh, you win the jar
[00:02] J. Oliver Judd III: Guy drops in a Jackson, walks out back, and walks back in 10 seconds later
[00:03] J. Oliver Judd III: the laughter can be heard easily from inside
[00:03] J. Oliver Judd III: the horse is cracking up
[00:03] J. Oliver Judd III: The bartender says "Damn, that was good. If you can make him cry, all your drinks are on the house tonight"
[00:03] J. Oliver Judd III: Guy walks out, comes back in 5 minutes later, and the horse is sobbing
[00:03] J. Oliver Judd III: Bartender says "alright, you win, but how'd you do it?"
[00:04] J. Oliver Judd III: "First I told him my dick was bigger than his. Then I proved it."

.

[rossmum]

Round end for WG2:

Halls of Fame and Shame

Conqueror (Most attacks won): #71097) Ares (With 346)
Shameful Leader (Most attacks lost): #71097) Ares (With 346)

Great wall of China (Most defends won): #71648) Bounty Hunter (With 195)
Leader of France (Most defends lost): #69340) christmas land (With 314)

Missile freak (Most successful missile launches): #69816) LOKI (With 263)
Made in Korea (Most unsuccesful missile launches): #66304) ~Kazzila~ (With 57)

WMD Expert (Most successful missile defends): #36440) Novacastria (With 37)
WMD - Wimpy Missile Defense (Most unsuccesful missile defends): #68758) phi sigma kappa (With 184)

007 (Most successful spy ops): #61758) deadalus (With 1551)
000 (Most unsuccesful spy ops): #63648) kimbo slice (With 310)

Conspiracy Theorist (Most successful spy defends): #71097) Ares (With 126)
Open borders (Most unsuccesful spy defends): #66304) ~Kazzila~ (With 823)

I had a bit of a lol

[Heathen]

I thought that was going somewhere that I was going to have to pat you on the back...and then I read "she is into roleplaying and stuff"