your rails are just plain wrong. in the tut section under rules and resources you'll find rails.
your rails are just plain wrong. in the tut section under rules and resources you'll find rails.
anyone remember when i posted this?
well i've done more work on it and defined alot of riffs for the second song that i want and heres the next part of the storyBoom
Boom
chikt (light switch being turned on)
boom
boom
rattle (medical equipment on operating theater)
heart thumping
voices sounding distant, encased in fog
Doctor: "What am i looking at nurse?"
Nurse: "he's a mystery sir, he's been showing mental problems for sometime, most likely a side effect of the conditioning he's received from the..."
*Interupting*
Doctor: "that doesn't explain why he's here"
*light buzzing (big overhead lights used in operating theatres)*
*sound panning left to right*
Nurse:"he's a mystery, one by one his organs began to shutdown...
he's dieing and ... *static* ....st cant locate the cause, so we called you."
Doctor: "brilliant, just fucking brilliant. So because of someone else's incompetence i'm picking up the pieces of a patient i dont specialize in? just what i needed...
Nurse:"do i need to remind you how imperative it is that he survives, doctor"
*beeping*
Nurse: "He's going into shock!"
Doctor: "Sound the alarm and get the response team in here NOW! Dont you die on me you son of a bitch im not going to have a cunt like you fuck up my record!"
*THUMP*
*laboured breathing*
*thump*
Sound slows down, Heart beat slowing
heart beat irregular, stopping
redline
fade out
silence
This is a album i've been thinking about doing, part instrumental at this early stage, everything subject to change.
This is The first track, it's all ambiance, think of it as a conversation, as if you where watching it on tv,
it's taken from first person perspective, your the patient, and at the end of your life in a hospital dieing from an unknown unexplainable illness.
The World Burns.
It's Beautiful to behold just the sheer power my awakening unleased apon a world not yet ready to cope with the knowledge that sears through my mind.
But it does not last and the fires that lined the sky and the stars newly formed return once more to the universe, leaving a night sky choking on debre, smoke and ash.
But where to from here?
I ask myself that question yet again as i unconsiously ook to my watch for the time, only to realise that it stopped working when i crossed over.
Kicking the red grass-choked dust in front of me the realisation that i'm all alone in a dried and desolate desert begins to sink in. I'm increidbly exposed here and with the complete lack of food and under fading sunilght, dread creeps its way up my spine, whispering so softly on my neck that the words are lost, but hte meaning is heard clear as day.
Retracing my walk along the precipace I spy for what little shelter i can find, while gathering the long dead shrubs and grass for a meagre fire to fend off the dark night deserts deadly chill.
Using a piece of flint and stone i strike a fire with my grass tinder and settle down for the night in my medocre cave while my fire makes the walls dance with shadows and illusions
For a minute i thought i saw SOMETHING, with golden eyes, staring back at me through the fire and flames.
It Must just be my imagination i tell myself as i roll over for a cold fitful sleep.
quick crit my fucking ass >
I don't believe the emotion. Sounds so over the top and hollywood, the overdone meaningless stuff about awakening and the universe that doesn't seem to go anywhere.
Lots of words just put in for the sake of expanding the apparently thin content and attempting to dress it in metaphor and create meaning out of nothing. You have an idea going, don't fuck it up with stupid overused themes that aren't your own words.
"precipice" yes it's a word, but jeez.
"settle down for the night in my mediocre cave" <_<
"dread creeps its way up my spine, whispering so softly on my neck that the words are lost, but the meaning is heard clear as day."
I mean, come on. None of that means anything past the obvious, so there's no point trying to hide the obvious in stuff. It's clear you sat down for a time, stroking your brow over important words to stick in there. That's not the way it's supposed to be done.
I can see the direct message or story your going for, but you've covered it in bullshit to try and sound deep and meaningful when all that shit is just verbal diarrhea unless it supports the message in the sake of connotation and verbal sound patterns. Then it takes on a musical approach. I can't see any of that though.
Here's an example of what i mean:
"dread creeps its way up my spine, whispering so softly on my neck that the words are lost, but the meaning is heard clear as day."
Means nothing, isn't smart or at least sounds cool or has a rolling tongue to it. It just is, and that isn't enough when your making art. Sometimes it's intended, but don't blur that.
The line would make much more symmetry and/or impact if you rounded it with the "day" at the end, as your setting is at night, seems like a good thing to work with.
"Night creeps up my back and around my watch(or if the watch is supposed to be dead, "around the field" or something), the air groans but it's message is as clear as day"
Think about grouping your subject, in with it's surroundings and think of quirky ways to create rotations in the way you think about what's being said. Shit that makes someone read it and go "dam". That's to me the difference in bland music, becoming amazing music. There are songs I've heard, and once understood or read the lyrics, instant winification. It does help if the music is awesome though.
My thought, make your music first. Use your timing and tempo and tonal changes to create mood, make a big fucking rollercoaster of soundmood music, and then hum or guitar play, but if you do, simple notes, drawn out, cut short, quavering, like singing, not solos, no one sings like a guitar chord. I'd humm though. Once you have your sound down and you know how it changes, you'll know EXACTLY what word comes next, because it will just feel right. Cut against the grain though, but don't completely go one way or the other.
Also, sometimes, words are unnecessary at all.
Take a lesson from mr Akira on that one:
Alone in the town
Overdose Delusion
Only started listening to the SH soundtracks the last few weeks, some of the most amazing music I've heard, barely a shred of vocals yet it tells so much.
Last edited by SiriusTexra; May 6th, 2010 at 08:52 AM.
what it's about is he's been possesed by a demonic spirit that took up residence after he died in the hospital.
He doesnt know it's there yet, all he gets is the feeling and fleeting glances of shadows behind him as the demon thats taking over him gets a tighter and tighter hold over him.
The whole wispering thing is it's malevolence as it taunts him just on the edge of his hearing.
It has nothing to do with the night that part, it's a set up for latter.
Also this isnt really the Album, More of the codex for the plot and how it's going to develop.
Think of it as a point of reference
Originally Posted by Bodzilla
Quit it
You can't even explain your base story without attempting to dip it in fluff. Just say it. What the hell do fleeting shadows do? Fleet? The whispering thing IS it's malevolence? Taunts him on the edge of his hearing? Shouldn't it be thought, rather than what his ears hear? This is actually starting to sound like a literal demon. Fangs and claws and smelly breath.
A demon taking over someoneis kinda lame. Is it symbolic of his past crimes/things he wants to forget , maybe manifesting in the form of something he's afraid of(a lover, a dead child, victim) or is it literally a lame fucking snarly dragon demon.If demon monster:
what's the point of telling this story? Demon posses him, demon takes him over after a useless struggle, the end. Fighting off some stupid monster that he has no stake or relationship with. What happens next, he uses his demon powers to TAKE OVER THE WAAARLD and he does a big guitar solo and kicks a unicorn to the moon cause he's now an evil super sayan but no one knows it cause he looks like the same old guy so he can fuck all the bitches he wants cause that's how he rolls now, a badass monster man?
Surely you can't be making a story about some pointless monster hostage drama.
Maybe try fleshing out your story in full if you haven't (if have, post THAT)before you go writing lyrics or musical focus points on it.Write a short story unraveling the whole start to finish.
whats the point of any story?
...
Just fyi, I use about 50 to 80 reference images on average for projects that I want to look convincing. That's a rather poor rendition of the M4, I'd suggest going back and getting more references and studying the design of the gun before reattempting the model.
Many, but yours doesn't seem to have one, Is what I'm getting at. Seems a little too ungenuine and forced and quite bland and generic with none of your personality involved. Just doesn't seem like anything anyone else could have done or thought of in half an hour.Doesn't say Bodie, to me. Make it yours, something that really is you. It'll just involve YOU more and make you want to share it with people at the highest possible standard. I also know you could do much better.
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