Okay I think I've nailed it down.

1: First off the sequence itself seems to have gotten faster, that's a big no no. This needed to be one of those slow down, and listen and observe everything sequences.

2: Secondly, I like the idea of giving the chief a bit more emotion to him, but he's way too jittery and excited. This need to be toned down a lot. It's understandable for him to be worried but he still needs to retain some cool. An example, instead of the finger twitching, how about as the camera pans across the gun we see his grip tighten. The over exaggerated head turning in the beginning was completely bad too. Instead of that, how about just a slight twitch to recognize the noise, then turn completely around.

3:The armor clipping, especially the helmet right after he turn around needs to be fixed.