Quotes Funny Random

[=sw=warlord]

what is the opposites of the following sentence: Always Coming From Take Me Down

[Bodzilla]

never going here give you up
close but no cigar mister rick

[=sw=warlord]

never going here give you up
close but no cigar mister rick

How is here the opposite of from?

[DarkHalo003]

:explodingpsyduck:

[Cortexian]

Psyduck?

[=sw=warlord]

Write a resume....get a job.
Make money....Get a woman
Have sex....get a kid
write another resume for a better job so you can pay for all of that....get the job
make more money....have more kids
retire....death
Wife and kids have all your money...They go on a cruise
get captured by pirates...tortured
released....mental hospital to deal with ordeal
life is never the same...silence
depression.........

[ICEE]

Preface: Now see I know that a lot of people here dislike TF2 for various reasons. I however love it and play it most days. One fateful night I got drunk and spent a couple bucks to open one of my crates (Gives you a random item). I just happened to get one of the rarest items in the game, an "unusual hat", which is just a normal hat with particle effects around it. Some people spend like 80 bucks trying to get these things because they're stone cold retarded.

Further preface:My cousin is getting good at the game, and he wanted to get a new shotgun for scout called the soda popper. I decided to surprise him with one, and found a weapon trader on the forums to buy it from. This is how that train derailed

RuneClown2015: Hey, you add me. How may I help you?
Mr. ICEE: Hey there. Do you have a strange soda popper in stock
RuneClown2015: yes
RuneClown2015: offer
Mr. ICEE: umm Im not really sure, strange weapons have such varied prices
Mr. ICEE: what would you expect for it
Mr. ICEE: like 2 rec or something
RuneClown2015: Ehh idk
RuneClown2015: But
RuneClown2015: is your unusual for sale?

--He must have checked my inventory via steam--


Mr. ICEE: No
RuneClown2015: I have 2 unusuals
RuneClown2015: with the same effect
RuneClown2015: I may give it for that
Mr. ICEE: uh
Mr. ICEE: no
RuneClown2015: how much is yours
Mr. ICEE: Not for sale
RuneClown2015: alright
RuneClown2015: how much is it though
RuneClown2015: just wonderin
Mr. ICEE: Christ it is not for sale. I got it from a random crate. I dont even know what it is worth
RuneClown2015: Alright
RuneClown2015: I know it's not for sale lol
RuneClown2015: I was just wondering the price
RuneClown2015: lol
RuneClown2015: nvm
RuneClown2015: anyway
RuneClown2015: let me think
Mr. ICEE: ...
RuneClown2015: on the soda
RuneClown2015: lol
RuneClown2015: Sorry
RuneClown2015: If I'm annoying
RuneClown2015: I'm jsut curious
Mr. ICEE: I do not intend to ever sell it
RuneClown2015: How come
Mr. ICEE: Because I like it
RuneClown2015: Ah
RuneClown2015: Alright
RuneClown2015: Well look at these
Mr. ICEE: anyways the guy who I was buying the popper for just went offline so I dont know if he even wants it
RuneClown2015: please
RuneClown2015: Any of these interest you


--He sends me a trade invite, loaded with unusuals trying to get mine--


Mr. ICEE: Ok I dont want any of them
RuneClown2015: Alright
RuneClown2015: Also
Mr. ICEE: I dont really like unusuals
RuneClown2015: I can give some stranges
RuneClown2015: For yours
RuneClown2015: a lot of em
RuneClown2015: Including soda popper
Mr. ICEE: why does it say you're on "trade probation"
RuneClown2015: I bought a hat
RuneClown2015: by paypal
Mr. ICEE: and im not giving my hat for anything, stranges or otherwise
RuneClown2015: and the guy reported me for no reason
RuneClown2015: and 3 days later
RuneClown2015: i was trade banned
RuneClown2015: but it's okay now
RuneClown2015: I have other hats
RuneClown2015: come on
RuneClown2015: Is there anything I can pursuade you with
Mr. ICEE: I think we are definitely done discussing the matter
Mr. ICEE: ill buy a popper from someone else
RuneClown2015: Well
RuneClown2015: sorry
RuneClown2015: :L
RuneClown2015: what was your offer
RuneClown2015: on the popper
RuneClown2015: offer on the popper?


-- I removed him here--


--he re-adds me, I accept--


RuneClown2015: I asked a question :O
Mr. ICEE: No
RuneClown2015: what was your offer
RuneClown2015: on the popper
RuneClown2015: the soda popper
Mr. ICEE: No
RuneClown2015: That's what you're buying right?
RuneClown2015: What are you paying for it
RuneClown2015: lol
RuneClown2015 is now Offline.
--I removed him here--

He tried to add me again too. the hat is a curse.

[DarkHalo003]

I thought this was pretty clever. Pretty old though.

Professor : You are a Christian, aren’t you, son ?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, you believe in GOD ?

Student : Absolutely, sir.

Professor : Is GOD good ?

Student : Sure.

Professor: Is GOD all powerful ?

Student : Yes.

Professor: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn’t. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

(Student was silent.)

Professor: You can’t answer, can you ? Let’s start again, young fella. Is GOD good?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Is satan good ?

Student : No.

Professor: Where does satan come from ?

Student : From … GOD …

Professor: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?

Student : Yes.

Professor: So who created evil ?

(Student did not answer.)

Professor: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, who created them ?

(Student had no answer.)

Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son, have you ever seen GOD?

Student : No, sir.

Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?

Student : No , sir.

Professor: Have you ever felt your GOD, tasted your GOD, smelt your GOD? Have you ever had any sensory perception of GOD for that matter?

Student : No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.

Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?

Student : Yes.

Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.

Professor: Yes, faith. And that is the problem Science has.

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Professor: Yes.

Student : And is there such a thing as cold?

Professor: Yes.

Student : No, sir. There isn’t.

(The lecture theater became very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.

(There was pin-drop silence in the lecture theater.)

Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?

Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?

Student : You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light. But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, well you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?

Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man ?

Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Professor: Flawed ? Can you explain how?

Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good GOD and a bad GOD. You are viewing the concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing.

Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Professor: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.

Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going.)

Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor. Are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?

(The class was in uproar.)

Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?

(The class broke out into laughter. )

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable.)

Professor: I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son.

Student : That is it sir … Exactly ! The link between man & GOD is FAITH. That is all that keeps things alive and moving.

P.S.

By the way, that student was EINSTEIN.

By the way, the professor was wrong about the senses: the 5 senses are simply textbook bullshit, your body actually has hundreds (if not more) senses (though they are debated often). This isn't meant to cause anyone any discomfort by the way, I just thought it was neat.

[Timo]

Preface: Now see I know that a lot of people here dislike TF2 for various reasons. I however love it and play it most days. One fateful night I got drunk and spent a couple bucks to open one of my crates (Gives you a random item). I just happened to get one of the rarest items in the game, an "unusual hat", which is just a normal hat with particle effects around it. Some people spend like 80 bucks trying to get these things because they're stone cold retarded.

Further preface:My cousin is getting good at the game, and he wanted to get a new shotgun for scout called the soda popper. I decided to surprise him with one, and found a weapon trader on the forums to buy it from. This is how that train derailed



He tried to add me again too. the hat is a curse.

You may already know but the best place i've found to buy items is www.tf2outpost.com. Almost everyone selling stuff lists their prices too, so you can quickly see what an item sells for if you're worried about getting jew'd out of metal.

[ICEE]

I dont care about metal. I was buying this thing as a gift anyways. I ended up finding a guy who sold it to me for 1 rec. But thanks anyways, kind of you to try and help.

Also I feel like that entire quote of darkhalo's was fake. No professor would teach that we "evolve from monkeys", because we dont. Humans and monkeys evolved from the same ancestor. Evolution 101