AAAAUG WHY! [FUCKING RANT]

[Rob Oplawar]

It is 5:00 in the fucking morning. About an hour and a half ago my fucking leg started fucking twitching. It's just one fucking muscle, a muscle in my thigh just above the kneecap. It just twitches about one a second. The twitching woke me up. It hasn't fucking stopped since then. I HAVE FUCKING RESTLESS LEG SYNDROME!

Except this doesn't meet the clinical definition. It's just a fucking twitch.
JESUS CHRIST THIS IS PISSING ME OFF!
I want to fucking cut off my goddamn leg. I've tried damn near everything else. I tried walking around. I tried doing jumping jacks for 5 minutes. I tried beating the fuck out of my leg. I tried scalding my leg with fucking hot water. I tried holding a fucking bag of ice to my muscle until my skin burned from the cold.

Now my leg is tired, bruised, burnt, and frostbitten, and it's STILL FUCKING TWITCHING!

This is annoying the FUCK out of me!

The worst part is that it's my own goddamn muscle which is not at all essential to life unlike the heart and lungs, so why the FUCK can't I control this shit?! What the fuck is wrong with my goddamn nervous system that is causing my goddamn leg to spasm uncontrollably for going on 2 fucking hours nonstop in the middle of the fucking night when I'm trying to fucking sleep


AAAAAAAHHHH GODDAMMIT YOU FUCKING LEG STOP TWITCHING I'M TRYING TO FUCKING TYPE YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE AAAAAAAAHHH

I mean jesus fucking christ on a fucking pony, that muscle is getting extremely sore! It's been twitching so much that I'm forming a cramp just from overexercising the goddamn thing! How the FUCK is this shit even POSSIBLE?!

I'm sorry if it seems like I'm ranting for the sake of ranting, but you try waking up at fucking 3 in the morning and realizing your leg is twitching, and feeling the same goddamn tugging poke in the same goddamn spot once every second for two fucking hours. I tried ignoring it. It is un-fucking-ignorable. I cannot sleep. This is the worst fucking form of insomnia I have ever experienced in my fucking life, and I've had some doozys- I've gone for days without sleeping in some cases. What the fuck am I supposed to do about a leg twitch?!

Well, actually, I'm going on the theory that if I take my mind off it long enough, say by distracting myself by focusing all attention on the task of, say, ranting my fucking ass off, it will eventually stop and I can finally go to bed. But I just ruined the whole fucking thing because while writing that I couldn't help but think of my fucking leg. It's like being told not to think of a hippo with a teacup- it can't be helped once the idea is in your head! And so of course the fucker is still twitching, so it looks like I'm gonna hafta rant some more.


Jesus crhist, god in heaven, make it stop, make it fucking stoooooooop. Science, oh great and holy science, do something, I'm begging you, offer me some respite from this dreadful affliction!

*breaks down into uncontrollable, unmitigated sobbing*

Admins, I don't care, lock this pointless thread, infract me for making such a massively worthless shitpost, I don't care. I am already suffering the worst fate known to man.


Oh jesus christ it's still twitching.

Brb, I'm gonna go jump off a fucking bridge.

[CN3089]

So why don't you go to your doctor?

[DaneO'Roo]

.

[n00b1n8R]

So why don't you go to your doctor?

Because it's 5 am.

Also, be glad it's not your whole body (it happens and you die).

[Kornman00]

hai now, no need to bring The Fox into this

[Hotrod]

I think you should go see a doctor as soon as possible. Maybe he'll be able to cut it off

[AAA]

That shit happens to me too.

I just pretend it's predictable and I say "There goes another twitch." So then I make the muscle feel predictable and not wanna do it. =D

[Bastinka]

Ganja, the answer to all problems.

[STLRamsFan]

If it continues, just see a doctor. No need to jump off a bridge.

[blind]

You should exercise more often.